The Ur-Quan Masters Discussion Forum

mine is
Kohr-Ah's

If you eliminate all non-Ur-Quan sentient races, including yourselves then we will stop.
We have made this offer before. No one accepts.
So we cleanse.

If you attack us, we will destroy you.
Over five thousand races have made such a claim.
We survived. They did not.
Nor shall you.

Resistance is useless. Our victory is inevitable!
It is not.

You have attacked us before, and we survived! You cannot defeat us. Submit!
We did. You did. Yes we can. No.

Surrender or die.
Our counter to your statement is simpler
just `die'.

The Kohr Ah get the best lines, don't they?

I liked a lot of the conversations with the Zoq-Fot-Pik.  This one's from memory, so don't freak if I don't get it exactly right.  ;D

Four races simultaneously evolved into sentience on our world- the Zoq, the Fot, the Pik, and the Zebranky.

Three of them, the Zoq, the Fot, and Pik, peacefully evolved in such a way as to gather sustenance from various nutrient sources- ambient sunlight, airborne zooplankton (my favorite!), and [i forgot].

The Zebranky also gathered food from various sources, namely...

...the Zoq...

...the Fot...

...and the Pik. (grr, my rendition doesn't do it justice :-/)


The other one that sticks out in my mind would probably be better recited by our very own Kohr-ah Primat, from whose displeasure from mangling this quote I would certainly cower from, but nothing ventured.....

You tried to cleanse us before, but we survived!  You cannot beat us! Give up!

We did. You did. Yes we can. No.

/cowers

EDIT- oops, I didn't see that Kohr-ah one posted by Yehat Sympathizer...  Still, it was pretty close  ;D

actual quote ;D =

In our ancient past, four species evolved intelligence on our homeworld. Simultaneously. They were the Zoq, the Fot, the Pik and the Zebranky. We three, the Zoq, Fot, and Pik evolved in such a way as to acquire sustenance from many sources, from airborne zooplankton, from solar and ambient energies, and from rocky fungal clingers. Our favorite! The Zebranky also consumed a variety of foods, namely: the Zoq the Fot and the Pik.

The Spathi have some of the best quotes in the game:

'Fwiffo would do anything you wanted if you held a gun to his head. Then again, Fwiffo would probably do anything you wanted if you held a carrot to his head...'

'When the Ilwrath were pushing into hyperspace, we asked that same question, and they said something to the effect of "Real soon." '

Ah, the mysteries of the Universe.
Try to understand 'em, but can you?
Nope, they're mysteries!
~PKUNK err... i mean
~DEFIANT

i like lots of quotes. the utwig (c below) the druuges coments about melnorm ships having lots of valuables on them, the ilwraths evil destruction, and most of all, the mycon. they are so spooky

Vegetable. Vegetable to his head.
The Spathi are cool like that. Such as when they tell you of how they pass the time in deep space. *snork snork*
Or how about their daily prayer? Maybe Fwiffo's tale of how he grew into a fine upstanding Spathi pilot? Or when the High Council must agree to terms of your Alliance?

The ZoqFotPik are close, though they aren't cowards perse.. more like a "better those jukes & narfs than them" mentality.

And then there's the VUX.. After they reveal their "true" nature toward Hootmans.. er.. Huge Glands.. Hunams.. (damnit, talking to Spathi too much) You must be destroyed! Think of their children!

"Welcome to the end of your life, courtesy of VUX technology. Our infinite supply of Intruder vessels is even now locking their vaporizers onto your position, and we shall end your painful, grotesque existence for you as soon as possible. In the meantime, here is a little music..."

And don't forget Commander Hayes and his Science Team.
"The sooner you get this thing off this starbase, the less likely it is that the thing will get loose and kill us all. Uh... guess that's it."

-=PakoPako=-

"I am bored. Please send me a couple of your crew members to play with. Preferably one male, and one female, though I won't be picky. No?! You have no sense of fun, Captain. You must have been a boring child." -Dynarri Pet

"..Even our house pets are rather evil." -Ilwrath

"GENETIC MODIFICATION!! YES! IT PERFECT GIFT!" -Umgah Homeworld

HAHAHAH! yes!!!! i love this!

Spathi
Each day when we awaken we call forth the traditional Spathi prayer
"Oh God...Please don't let me die today! Tomorrow would be so much better!"


i also like that too
Utwig
BUT WAIT!!
The Ultron throbs and whistles! Matters of significance are being relayed to our brains.
It has been so long since we communicated with the ultimate in such a manner
but slowly, the truth is revealed... our destiny!!
We have been directed to join with our Supox allies and attack...
YOU!...
...no wait, that's wrong. Sorry.


Shofixti
I am the glorious Shofixti warrior, Tanaka.
You killed my father... my mother... my many brothers
all six of my sisters
in fact, my entire species.
Prepare to die!

Ilwrath
What happened to the Ilwrath stationed here?
The Ilwrath contingent were supposed to be the toughest ridge-crest, er
the most rigid flipper, no
ah yes - the BACKBONE of the Earthguard force; but they departed the system en masse
not long after the last Ur-Quan Dreadnought vanished from this region of space.
They claimed to have received a direct order from their Gods of Evil and Darkness,
who had grown dissatisfied with the Ilwraths' passivity
and wanted them to kill or at least torture someone soon.
Personally, I believe they just got bored and went off to have some fun.


:D

Thanks coleslawjoe.  I wasn't nearly as close with the ZFP quote.  ;D

Speaking of Commander Hayes, he has some great lines, too.  Specifically (paraphrased):

"What the hell kind of ship is that?!!"

"Captain, our sensors are picking up an Ilwrath Avenger closing fast!  It's j-mming our tr-nsmi-s-on.  Wa-t unt-l p---t bl-nk r-ange" (something like that...what kind of commander is he? ::))

And finally, the conversation about the scientists' report on the Utwig bomb.  I really can't recall this quote at all...  Something about "it is indeed a bomb" and various runes and "if you feel the need to experiment with it, do not do so within a 1AU radius, preferably further."

Man, SC2 had great lines and species.  PakoPako reminded me how funny it was to converse with the Umgah!  ;D

Be Welcome, Friendly Allies. We hope that the Good, Green Sunlight warms you.

I cannot recite the complete textfiles (nearly everything is worth reciting).
Some of my favourites:

Cmdr. Hayes:


Kohr-Ah:


Kzer-Za:
Can you read here as well, that a female is the leader of the Kohr-Ah?


Syreen:
(during a special scene):)

Utwig:

Thraddash:


Dnyarri:


For the rest i really like the Supox' lines.

Greetings, Garden Guardians. We shall block the Kohr-Ah's sunlight and frost their leaves!

Don't forgot that the captain himself has some great lines like:
Melnorme


Dnyarri

My Favorite qoute has to be the one from the druuge
Forgive me if i dont get it exact though

"ok were hooking up our fuel lines to your ship now, Now lets see that comes out to 1591 units! AHHHHH You've sucked my tanks untill they are Dry! What will i tell my manager?? my spouse?? Thell send me to work in the furnaces for sure!!"

it sounds best spoken on the UQM version. I nearly fell out of my chair when i heard that one  ;D anyways this is my 2 cents on this topic

heh heh. those glowy things. but if their so embarasses bout them, ud think theyed try to cover them up

Silly blobbies...

I like to stare at the glowing parts:)(this is not a qoute)

We (and thus, presumably, the camera the precursors made for them) see in a different portion of the EM spectrum than they do -- so they didn't know they were 'uncovered'.

Besides, Blooming Sac, or whoever, was put in a 'unique mood' after that altercation...

Their species are different, their methods are strange.
And to paraphrase the ZoqFotPik, it's not like you want to make your entire species look like jerks. :D

-=PakoPako=-

Isn't that the 30th time you qouted one of the things the Zot-Foq-Pik said? Isn't it the 30th time it was the exact same thing you qouted? I think so.

The "jerk" line, or my sig? ???

-=PakoPako=-

The "jerk" line.

Hmm. Honestly speaking, if I had a nickel for every time I've mentioned it on the boards, I'd end up with a dime.

Besides, *waves hand* I am not the pet you are looking for.

...

*waves hand*

... :-/

Damnit, the Crimson Corporation said that would work. I want my hamster back! >:(

Hmm.. I wonder if they'd actually buy the Talking Pet?

-=PakoPako=-

Do you know what REALLY happened at Roswell, New Mexico in the late 1940's?
Have you even heard about the Men in Black?
Do you have any friends who have `missing days'?
Do you sleep with your window unlocked?
Be seeing you...

Hi there, human! How old fluid sacks today?
What?! You don't HAVE fluid sacks?
Har! Har! Har! What do you call your mate then?!! Har! Har! Har!... ???
...you don't HAVE mate?  :o
THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER! Har! Har! Har! ;D

-=PakoPako=-

Don't have fluid sacks? What sort of human is that? I can think of several organs that qualify as "fluid sacks".

Goodbye Slylandro gas bags.
"Goodbye human fluid sack!"

I rest my case.

The Pik describing the Stinger:

"They turn on a... on a... well a small round thing that's REAL small!"

Flaccid Earthling -- I Will Pour Your Warm Circulatory Fluid Across The Altar Of Dogar And Dance A Jig Of Cruelty Atop Your Cooling Corpse.

-=PakoPako=-

Long time lurker, first time poster.

One of my favorite quotes has to be this:

AVATAR BATTLESHIPS ARE MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN OUR BROODHOME OR X-FORM VESSELS.
IN COMPETENT HANDS, THESE SHIPS CAN DEFEAT ANY SHIP IN SPACE.

( I’m a pro-Chmmr fanatic, does it show?:) )

I see that they didn't meet the utwig jugger...

Key word: Competent.

Nevertheless I think it's easier for a Broodhome to take down an Utwig than an Avatar.

You mean less hard... The chenjesu ship never beat me when I used the jugger. I don't know how a human player will do against a jugger since I have never played against a good player.

These Utwig quotes (copied from the PoNaF) are hilarious:

"Just because you busted your Ultra-thingy, don't be a bunch of cry-babies!"
Gah! Now you've really done it!
Your blatant transgressions have me hopping mad!
Hop hop hop! Okay, that's it! Put up your dukes! Nobody makes fun of the Ultron!

"This Bomb is pretty dangerous and you guys are crazy. I'm getting out of here!"
Ha ha, don't worry. Hey! I laughed! How could I do that?
Now I sink into a depression that leaves me speechless.

Actually i have to revise my previous post and have to say that the best quotes in the game can only be heard:

"Moron!", "Dodo!", "Stupid!", ...
I do not remember the other ones right now (at the time being i have no time to play and no soundcard :'( )

At least they are the most surprising ones. Especially when you introduce someone to the game and he hears your pilot. ;)

Greetings,
Martin

Right Koowluh, i missed those! Thanks!

Another one:
<Quote>Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws!
Our children have returned from oblivion!!
But now we are faced with the cruellest truth!...
...We who have sacrificed our honor! We who have lain with our enemy!
WE ARE NOT WORTHY! WE ARE NOTHING!...We are less than nothing.
But wait! We are not Spathi.</Quote>:)

Probe :
"Priority override. New behaviour dictated. Must break target into component materials."

We're the Ethics Police. Justify that costume... Immediately!





-=PakoPako=-

For being so ugly, they can be funny.

Yeah, the Vux are quite humorous about your death.

Actually, i am embarassed. I have to admit that i thought i could pick a favourite quote. But to my shame i must say, that my favourite quotes are found everywhere. Acutally, the complete game text files are my favourite quotes. I am ashamed. i should have admitted this earlier. These scripts were excelently written. There is only one hollywoodscene better that this game (Harry and Sally, the scene where Meg Ryan, hmm, how young is the youngest reader here?).

Hee hee... ;D
This is why some evil people are posting more than once.


-=PakoPako=-

I think the talking pet has the best quotes

Ok, human, this is it! The last battle, your final moment of triumph!
Don't screw up.
And in case you're wondering, I'm not going with you, Captain. I'm staying on board.
Why, you ask?
BECAUSE I'M LOCKED IN HERE -- THAT'S WHY!
HELP!!!



What now, Dnyarri?
Oh gosh, gee! I don't know. Let's just sit here and talk a while
AND IGNORE THOSE THOUSAND DREADNOUGHTS THAT ARE GOING TO CREAM US IN A FEW SECONDS!

My favorite quote is tucked away safely within my signature

"You will die soon, perform whatever rituals are required for your species"

I don't know, but I just love that quote.

Most of my others have already been quoted several times over, and for this you shall all pay.

You will die soon, perform whatever rituals are required for your fluid sacked species!!!!

I guess one of mine is my signature too. Hmm..any Kohr-Ah ones I like...

Pretty damn straightforward.


Only thing I could think when I heard this was, "Man, that was quick."

And of course, the BEST Kohr-Ah quote:



A timeless classic, If I do say so myself.

Har! Har! Har! Freedom very good thing!
It so much easier to make good jokes without boring old Ur-Quan slave laws!
We wanting to pull a real good one on those stupid nosers from Draconis for long time
but since they battle thralls too, we not allowed do even small pranks on them
like, say... dropping planetoid in their ocean.
Big waves! Big waves! Har! Har! Har!

I just love their approach to humor.

"Innocuous destructiveness" could best describe their humor, although its a bit of an oxymoron...still amusing as hell. Nothing like tons of self-expanding, foul-smelling foam to clog up Spathi life support systems.