The Ur-Quan Masters Discussion Forum

Sitting in Perkins with my girlfriend a week ago, we were constantly being bugged by a little brat sitting next to us. It was in perpetual motion; up the table, down the table, across the chairs, around the room, etc. The mother was trying, albeit not hard, to stop the child from doing such antics. Once the mother DID manage to get it sat down, it began coloring on the table with it's green crayon.
I sat back for a moment, reconsidering if I really do want to have children, when the thought struck me.

What will the Hierarchy races do when the war is won?

My thoughts landed on the child, and what came into my head as a scene made me burst out in laughter.

"You will obey my commands, or you...will...be...punished!" Says Ur-Quan Lord 416 as he picks up yet another child causing problems and sends it flying across the room. The Doctrinal Daycare the Ur-Quan set up on Earth hadn't fared well, and the Ur-Quan weren't sure why. It was dicipline the parents wanted, it was dicipline the Ur-Quan would dish out. A loud scream spits the air as little Tommy tears off little Suzy's Barbie doll's head. 416 is instantly on top of both, seizing them in his merciless tendrils.
"What is the problem here?" He asks demandingly.
"TOMMY RIPPED OFF MY BARBIES HEAD!!!! WAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" screams Suzy. 416, thoroughly annoyed by this, proceeds to take little Tommy's head of as recompence for Suzy.
"Have you learned your lesson now, renegade human?" The decapitated corpse of Tommy doesn't respond.
"Arrogant Human!" 416 says heatedly, "You will pay for your impudence!" and proceeds then to dismember the headless torso, drenching little Suzy in blood and random viscera. She screams.
"SILENCE!!!" 416 lifts Suzy off the ground and brings her right to his multiple eyes. "You will not shirek unless told to do so by me. Now, go bathe yourself and join the rest of your kind in the play-pen." She runs off in tears and blood to clean up. Once all the children have been assembled in the play-pen, Lord 416 presses a button at his desk, which he lovingly refers to as his Command Console, and a dark, blood-red shield covers the play-pen, cutting off all sound, leaving the screaming hellions to their own mechanations. He sighs, and wishes that he could just order around the mature versions of these hominids, although some seemed like children anyway...he relaxes at his Console, turns on this thing Earthlings call "T.V.", and watches the Frungy Championships going on in Wembley Stadium. The TimPok Chargers vs. the ZogHut Bouncers.
. o (Those damn TimPok), he thinks,  . o (they've always been underhanded in their play style. Makes one wonder if they're cheating. Well, if it wasn't for them, my favorite team, the RupGaf Warblers would've made it to the playoffs...)

Time passes...

The front door opens, and a woman comes in.
"You have come to collect your designated child-unit?" 416 asks.
"Er...yes..." the woman looks a bit nervous. "Tommy is his name."
"I decapitated and dismemebered him today. He assaulted a female of your species and sucessfully annihilated her leisure device." The woman drops her jaw in shock.
"You....you what?" she stutters.
"Are you deaf, human?" 416 begins to get angered, "I KILLED HIM for assaulting a female of your species."
"You monster!" The woman screams. "I'm reporting this to the police and to the Human Services Board!" As she opens the door to leave, 416 extends a tendril, closing the door. She turns around to look and sees him, inches away from her face.
"You will do no such thing, woman, lest I do to you the same as your child-unit."
"Try it!" She shouts and opens the door. 416 promptly ensnares her, twists the top of her trunk off, and throws both halves out the door. A father, coming in to get his daughter, sees this and gets back in the car, speeding off.
"Blast..."416 mutters, "And I was down to only 10 Human Service Violations a month..."

Dude, you are sick! What kind of twisted mind would come to this "amusing" thought? :-/ :-/ :-/

Jiffa, if you were there when this kid was rampaging, you'd have WANTED Lord 416 to dismember him. :P Either that, or Death 416.  ;D

Oh yea, I sometimes wish it will happen to children like that, but I only WISH, I don't describe it to other people with great details...  ;D

I'd rather have Lord 416 running a daycare than Death 416, any day. It is an amusing, though slightly deranged idea. Then again I'm not one to put others down for having oddball ideas, so me calling it deranged is far from an insult.

Deep_Jiffa: Describing an idea in detail is still just an idea. At least until it's put into action.

The hierarchy races are ensuring that noone will ever sunjugate the Ur-Quan. And being the masters, i do not believe that the Ur-Quan will ever serve other beings in a kindergarten. Especially not a slaves kindergarten. They are too much hunters to sit around and raise others people.

And they are happy to leave their slave alone and let them do all the administrative work to keep their society going, that's what the Shield is for. The human race (as example) is shielded, they can do everything they want, as long as they stay on Earth and are not flying around in space. The slave are not allowed to have contact to other slaveraces (if shielded) except for the Starbase whose purpose it is to support hierarchy fleets (either battlethralls or the Masters themselves).

I do think it rather unlikely that the Ur-Quan will ever stop on their path of dominion, especially because the UQs know that intelligent life can devolop anywhere anytime.

Krulle, if you follow UQM to it's end, The Eternal Doctrines are both destroyed with the destruction of the Sa-Matra, and the Hierarchy is defeated. The slavemasters fall, the slaves go free. With their defeat, as in any war, they must comply with the guidelines set down by the victor, us. The rest of the Hierarchial remnants would probably join as well a la *cough*sc3*cough* but it would more than likely remain a decision left to them. But I believe that the Ur-Quan, in defeat, would have to submit to Alliance rules.

But besides all that, wouldn't it be funny to see a Kzer-Za running a daycare? I'm trying to think up other strange jobs for former Hierarchy members, too. What would they do?

I don't know about 'successful' for the Umgah...

"What? Nose go on face? Not leg? HAR! HAR! HAR! Oopsie!"
"Wakey wakey human, we did good on you! Now look around. Yes! AROUND! We put six more eyes in head, to make it easier looking around. What? You don't want six eyes? Ok, we add more."

Welcome to the Umgah Amusement Park!

HAR HAR HAR!

Here's my attempt.

The kids sat in the large auditorium praying that maybe this time the earth would actually open up and swallow them whole before the program started. Everytime they were gathered into the auditorium, it was always something totally lame, like the tap-dancing Yehat, the Druuge ballerina, or the Juggling Spathi. Well, okay, the Juggling Spathi was pretty good. He seemed so scared of the balls hitting him that he ran off the stage screaming at least three or four times. Still it would have been better if he had actually gone through with the flaming bowling pins.

Unfortunately, the kids already knew that this time they were getting a "motivational speaker." They had all rolled their eyes when they first heard. Motivational speakers were notorious for espousing dumb platitudes like "Go for it!" and "Keep on trying!" as if they actually meant something. So it was with no small amount of trepidation that they watched the principal come on stage.

"Hi, kids!" began the principal. "As you've probably heard, we will be hearing from a motivational speaker today." A collective sigh went through the students. They had hoped that perhaps they had all been collectively misinformed. Maybe it had been another mean joke from the administration like the rumor they started about joint Syreen-Human classes. But no, this was no joke. The students shifted in their seats, trying to find which position would allow them to sleep most comfortably.

"Anyway," continued the principal, ignoring the students' sigh with a reminder to himself of how many more years until retirement, "he's come a long way, at least I think it's a he, and I think you can all benefit from what he has to say. Please give a warm welcome to Floos."

Scattered applause could be heard throughout the auditorium. Well, it might not have been applause. It could have been the students trying to recline in their seats, or the rain on the roof, but something resembling applause was heard as a Mycon in a heated body suit came on stage.

"I am Floos. I am the motivational speaker. I died in the cold vacuum of space 300 years ago. I have chosen my instructions to you carefully from my set of remembrances.

"You are Children now. But you are not Deep Children. You are not part of Juffo-Wup. Soon you will cease to even be Children. But first I will imprint my memories onto you.

"`...the signal needs more strength...'

"You are chaotic. Your genetic culture is primtive. I am of my parents' parents' parents' parents' parents' parents. I am them. They are me.

"Your world is good. It's air is pure and sweet. This is good. Abundant life covers its surface. This is good. The sun gently warms the surface. This is also good. Juffo-Wup should be spread here. I must leave. You are Non. But you can be Voided."

With that Floos walked off the stage. This time there was no applause, just the sounds of gentle snoring.

Driving along, a hovercar is broadsided by some VUX meanies, careens off the road, and crashes into a tree. Still pilotable, the driver takes it to the nearest garage..."Dthunk's Smashr-Fixxr-Uppr". Not particularily caring about spelling skills, the human brings the car into the garage. He is, however, taken aback when a 7' tall, grey skinned, built-like-a-tank Thraddash stepping out to meet him. It's nametag says Dthunk.

"Oh, 'ave yew got a good one 'dere!" Dthunk says, giving his cigar a thoughtful pull.
"Yea," the guy replies, "Can you do anything for it?" The Thraddash thinks a moment, scratches his leathery chin, then blows the smoke out.
"Well, you did yerself a nice one, I dunno if we can help it any..." Dthunk seems like there isn't much help for this wreck.
"I'll pay 50% more than usual!" The man says stoutly.
"Well, in dat case, lemme git da boys." Dthunk dissapears. As the man waits patiently, he hears Dthunk telling the boys to "come lookit dis!" He emerges, along with 3 other Thraddash, nametags saying Gralf, Bgirn and Thokk.
"Ho-lee Draconis!" Bgirn exclaims, "How're we suppose'ta do anythin' to this?"
"De man 'ere iz payin' extrah for our services, Bgirn." Dthunk says.
"Well, in dat case..." Thokk says. The man smiles.
"Youse can go inna waitin' room if yeh wants'ta." All four Thraddash head back into the back room of the garage, and the man walks into the waiting room. He sits back, and grabs a copy of the Alliance Times. Wow! A Frungy shocker! The TimPok Chargers were found cheating and banned from the National Frungy League! Apparently, they were eating fungal rocky clingers before the game started, giving them an illegal advantage.
"I knew it!" the man says to himself, "they were way too fast on the field." Suddenly, a huge crashing noise is heard from inside the garage. The man looks into the garage to see the four Thraddash systematically pounding the hell out of his car with sledgehammers, rocks, and whatever other blunt instrument is readily available. He runs out to get them, just as Gralf is firing up a blowtorch.
"What the hell are you doing??!" the man asks in suprise.
"Well, we didn' tink dere would be much else we could do ta it, but we figured dat the blowtorch might add a few nice lookin' burn marks, and the rock adds some edges to the dents..."
"I wanted you to FIX MY CAR!" The man shouts, "not WRECK IT! Doesn't your sign say "Smasher Fixer Uppper?""
"Yep!" Dthunk says proudly.
"Well then why are you smashing my car instead of fixing it?"
"We are fixing it up," Thokk says calmly, "we're makin' it look presentatable when youse go drivin'!"
"Dat, and we hurd dat stuff on Earth gos better when deys got dents inn'em. We watch lotsa golf, and man, can dem guys smack dat ting a long way!" Bigrn adds with a smile.
"I can't believe this..." the man says in shock..."I'm getting the police!" and storms out.
"Now wat's wrong wit 'im?" Thokk asks.
"Dunno," Dthunk says, "but dese humans are a hard bunch ta understand."

Customer support service: "Customer support service, how may I help you?"
Customer support service: "Yes, that's possible, but you need to pick up a copy of it at the office."
Customer support service: "You can't go to the office, and why is that?"
Customer support service: "Because you are afraid something might be lurking at the door or jump from the roof?"
Customer support service: "Sir, I'm sure there's no evil waiting for you to come out. Rest assured that it has all been locked away."
Customer support service: "Yes sir, I'm sure it's in a secured area."
Customer support service: "and Yes sir, they have thrown the key away."
Customer support service: "I'm sure they won't let any relatives with files visit it sir."
Customer support service: "No sir, I'm sure the relatives aren't 'out there' to eat you."

A man walk into the Dentist, and sits down in the chair.

- Please be sure to give me plenty of painkillers, I'm very sensitive.

An Ilwrath comes clicking out of the shadows.

-Welcome Puny Hu-Man! Dogar And Kazon Click Theri Mandibles In Anticipation Of The Coming Carnage!

- Um yeah, right. But seriously, I'm like hypersensitive, I can't stand the thought of pain.

- How Fortunate! The Dark Duo Will Be Pleased To Hear Your Screams Of Agony Hu-Man! We Shall Celebrate The Joyous Occasion Of Your Agony With A Feast! We Shall Bet On How Many Teeth We Can Extract Before You Stop Screaming! Your Symphony Of Agony Will Soothe Our Beings, And Your Puny Weak Frame Will Shake And Shiver With the Delicious Pain!

- What? Now listen here, I'm a citizen of The EMpire of Lukipela! I Know my rights! I DEMAND That you give me something to take my mind off the pain in my mouth! Otherwise I will dmaned well sue you!

- Sigh. Very Well Hu-Man. If You Insist, We Will Forgo This Glorious Occasion. However, The Gods Must Be Pleased. Fortunately, We Have a Perfect Solution For This Dilemma Hu-Man. We Have Just The Thing To Take Your Mind Of The Pain In Your Mouth.. If You Insist On Defiling What Would Otherwise Be A Glorious Event Of Carnage And Destruction?

- Damn well I do!

-Very Well Then... Sister Zoggak, If You Will Please Wheel In The Device?

- What is this thing anyway? Do you really have to connect it to the head like this?

- It Is A Modified Version Of a Little Something Our Kohr-Ah Friends Bestowed Upon Us after Their Defeat... An EXCRUCIATOR! I Gurantee You Hu-Man, You Will be Far Too Busy Screaming To Think About How Your Mouth Feels!! Let The Ceremony Begin!!!

-AAAARGHAGAARGHARRAJAGHAAARGH!!!

As I am reading the Ilwrath lines in your post, Luki, I find myself imagining, even reciting, how it would sound to hear an Ilwrath say that. It is really tiresome trying to speak lines for an Ilwrath. Since They Do This For Every Word, It's Like They're Screaming At You, Hu-Man.

Seeing the history and why the Ur-Quans went on their paths i do not believe their primary goal has changed. It was and will be the ensurance of the safety of all Ur-Quans against any non Ur-Quan thread. Their path to achieve this may have changed. They might go on a path of bilateral exchange of information, but still they will stand together and do whatever is necessary for their own safety. Since they cannot continue their doctrinal paths, they have to search for a new path of peaceful coexistance (like the one they walked on in the Sentient Milieu). Still they will make sure that all possible threads will be annihilated (that's also the reason why they come along to the Crux-quadrant in SC3, although SC3 is still not canon for me). IF some member of the Concordance of Alien Nations finds a thread, the Ur-Quan will still do everything to stop the thread (at first diplomatic tries to convince others to help them in the council of the CAN, if that fails, they do it by force, just like USA/Iraq).

Krulle, the Ur-Quan (at least the Kzer-Za, the Kohr-Ah are still genocidal maniacs) finally get it inbetween SC2/SC3: no other race wants to enslave them. That's why they join the Alliance to the Kessari Quadrant. If they didn't think this, they'd probably go off to sulk somewhere, or go to another quadrant and start all over again, staying the hell away from ours.



They stand together for their safety, yes, and they stand with us. Like I said before, the Kohr-Ah still go nutzy in SC3, taking over Kzer-Za colonies and attacking you, but when you talk to Zor-Ath (The head Kzer-Za at the colony) about it, he is sincerely concerned about it. If you think he's bluffing...



Truth in both circumstances.



No they won't, and I doubt that's why they came with. They know from past experiences that messing with even the simian Earthling is a dangerous thing when it has a Precursor ship to fly around in. Besides, if they were going to be aggressive, the League would simply abandon them. No Hyperspace = no travel. Bonus, some of their former slave races would now have a chance to pound the hell out of them should they try anything cute.

The only race that came along to annihilate things is the Mycon, and thats all about Juffo-Wup. :P Besides, why would they "peacefully exist" to annihilate?
Logic = ?

Back to topic:
Yeeeee....a Ilwrath Dentist? I hate going to the dentist as-is, this'd make me bring the shotgun with!

I know it's not a Hierarchy race, but...


*ding*
"Now boarding, Flight 4170 to Tokyo, Japan."
*ding*
Everyone gathers onto the plane. People looking through the windows noticed that it must be a new model, a larger cargo carring bay is on the bottom of the craft, but the jet itself seems smaller. Well, more cargo = more money... the people sit down, a smallish figure appears at the front of the cabin.
"Greetings! I am your Captain today. My name is...Tanaka! We are flying straight for Tokyo, Japan! Today, and our estimated arrival is 2.5 hours! Or, never."
2 and a half hours? People mutter,
"We're on the east coast! How the hell...?"
"What's he mean by "never"?"
"Why didn't the stewardesses tell us anything?"
The aircraft quickly takes off and gets to flying level. It seems to be going insanely fast, and when people look around, there isn't that many onboard. About 50 passengers is the most anyone counts.
Suddenly, a large storm and turbulence strikes the craft. A klaxon blares in the front cabin. The passengers hear Tanaka talking in the radio to another aircraft, whom of which is apparently directly in front of them.
"No, Aye cannot manuver my ship! To avoid you! And you cannot! Either? Oh no! Well, only one thing! To do!"
*Ka-Klick!*
*Ka-Klick!*
"KYAIEEEEE!!!!"
*Ka-Klii...*

The passengers of the other aircraft, scared to death of a midair collision, are suddenly rocked with a huge explosion. They look out their windows and see a gargantuan fireball rising into the sky, shreds of aircraft raining down around them. A shout is heard from the front of the craft.
"Damn you! Tanaka! It was my turn to! Activate my Glory Device!"
So that's why the "cargo bay" is so big! ...uh oh...
*Ka-Klick!*
*Ka-Klick!*

First things first: i do not find the Ur-Quan kindergarten that amusing, but an Ilwrath as dentist? That's more my style and fits the races better (The Ur-Quan Kzer-Za have honor not to kill anyone unneccesarily, if your grandpa did not heed the warning to leave any building older than 500 years and stayed in Buenos-Aires built on some old Aztek city, then...). The dentist is a real good way to hide your sadistic feelings...


The SC3: Ur-Quan were concerned why the hyperspace collapsed and wanted to investigate if that could be a thread to them.


Because they realized (like you said) that
1. we do not want to enslave but wish peaceful coexistance
2. together we can ensure the safety of both races


I do not believe Zor-Ath is bluffing, he never was. But he is also a very progressive thinker among the Kzer-Za. He leads their part of the voyage because he is in line with the goals of the Concordance of Alien Nations (that makes it easier for us to talk with them). He is concerned about the Kohr-Ah rebelling, because the Ur-Quan are in a critical situation: Their beliefs, their path has to change. They have been believing in this final truth for some 10.000 years. What do you expect? They've been raised to believe that there could be a danger that could destroy Ur-Quan life (Kzer-Za), respectively they are raised to know that everyone everywhere is a danger for each Ur-Quan (Kohr-Ah).
And Zor-Ath is concerned, because the rebels whish to destroy all sentient non-Ur-Quan life, which is explicitly forbidden in the peace agreements between the CAN and the Ur-Quan. This could mean severe punishment not only for the rebels but also for all other Ur-Quans. That's the way they handled it (collective punishment), that's what is difficult to learn, that the CAN does not impose collective punishment. And he knows that the rebels could attack the collaborateurs as well (that's what he is in their eyes).


It's one of the reasons.
That's only the Kohr-Ah, and I doubt all think the same. They are thinking more black/white (remember the Story about the black workers/doers and the green thinkers?), that's what makes them dangerous. And the Mycon came along because Juffo-Wup needs to be spread as fast as possible, and in Earths quadrant it is not possible anymore. The fast and undisturbed spreading was why they joined the Kzer-Za battlethrall imperium. In a lost war they would have lost many Mycon and recources they need to spread fast. I do not belive the Mycon with their weird programming can even understand the difference between destroying planets with abundant life and spreading Juffo-Wup, or why they need to do any of them.

Ur-Quan: They can peaceful coexist (with us and the rest of the CAN) to annihilate any danger to Ur-Quan life. In the CAN they can vote on certain topics and they can even find help in their struggle to get rid of anything that just wants to enslave. And even the Kohr-Ah on their old path would not be able to change it if they found a race like the Dnyarri again. The one at the Umgah-homeworld can compel you even through the comsystem! And the Kohr-Ah greet you first to tell you to apply any rituals neccessary for your race and beliefs. That's the moment a new Dnyarri would get hold of the first ship which would then change everything.... And since the Dnyarri were not spacefaring yet (which would make them far more dangerous), the Kohr-Ah would most likely not find them (with these hand it'S difficult to use any technology like Broadcasters!)

From the original post:
It is not totaly clear that you meant when the war is over. The Hierarchy loses, it does not win the war in SC2.
Albeit, i do not believe any Ur-Quan with their strong instinct could stand any tima among other species not understanding why they are so aggressive (because nature needed them this way on their homeworld). That's why the Ur-Quan are enough to them selves, they need nobody else. During SC2 i got the feeling that the Kzer-Za have difficulties suppressing their aggresive nature and enslaving other races. They know they could have taken an simpler (thus easier) path: destroy everything. But even they know that destroying without need is not so good.

In SC3 the Kohr-Ah are a bit lead by the Kzer-Za to see why all Ur-Quan should join with all other reasonable races in the CAN: to ensure that everyone is safe. The Kohr-Ah are just observing the mission to the Kessari-quadrant. The real rebels are former followers of the Kzer-Za-doctrine who do not believe that this severe change in habit can be good for Ur-Quan-kind and that it would be better to go on with the (rather extreme) subjugating of all other races. And since they are not allowed to enslave any more, the people search for new leaders. And since the Kohr-Ah did not betray the Ur-Quan people and remained independant, they choose the old Kohr-Ah style. The Kohr-Ah in our quadrant are not killing anyone anymore! The rebels are only in the kessari-quadrant!
It's similar to what happened after WW1 in Germany: The people were unhappy, everything had been so much better with a single leader, that he and his staff did start the war and the misere that came with it is to difficult to understand for most people. That's why that perfect example of tall and blond german had it easy to find supporters.
And after WW2 the same game: the people were unhappy because under Hitler they had nearly everything they needed. That he stole it from the Dutch, Begian, French, Polish and Jewish people was not understood. The repeat of history was avoided thanks to the shiploads of help, money and knowledge from the US, UK, France, Spain, Belgium and the Netherlands.

Lovely a game which is perfect for the study of analogies in politics.... ;)

BTW: a more than tenthousand year old society brings no more than a dreadnaught than can be killed by a spaceship from a just planetlifting race that is not yet able to travel interstellar (humankind was bound to Sol until the Chenjesu arrived and asked for help)? They have far more recources (and the Sa-Matra), that's why they win against the Alliance of Free Worlds. But technological I'd expect more (although balanced gameplay would not allow this).


Anyway this discussion reminds me of an old joke question:

Question: who are the best politicians on Earth? ???



Answer: The Austrians! They made Mozarts fame shine on Austria and made everybody think Hitler is german...


Edit: corrected some grammar errors to clarifiy who i meant

The Kzer-Za, now part of the League of Sentient Races(Concordance of Alien Nations is a choice in SC2 when you first get the Starbase), do NOT wish to enslave races anymore! The League strictly forbids it, as the problem is with the Doog and buying their colonies.

You use "annihilated" a bit too freely in your descriptions of what the Ur-Quan will do. As a part of the LSR, they will defend, not DESTROY any threats to their freedom. They'll stop them, with the help of the LSR. They won't annihilate them, or enslave them, or anything like that. It's against their new rules.

That's what we both wrote...
I like the CAN better than LSR. LSR sounds like LSD, CAN sounds like "we CAN do it".

Defend a threat? Sounds weird. They will self-defend as they always did. And if something is a severe threat that's dengerous (due to aggressive culture, aggressive behaviour, uncontrolled military that can do as will) they will do something about it. The Kzer-Za never destroyed entire civilizations without reason. They always fought them to a size in which they were no danger to the Ur-Quan, then they were given the choice of becoming battle-thralls or being enslaved on a planet. By doing this they destroyed the threat (although those who imposed the thread might still be alive, but not strong enough any more). We do agree in that.
And we do agree that the way the Kzer-Za deal with threads and dangers has changed. Formerly they enslaved, now they seek new ways which includes seeking more diplomatic ways together with the CAN (LSR, if you want). SC3-Example is the collapse of Hyperspace. Alone they could do nothing (no hyperspace = no travel for them), but with their andvenced knowledge they could help you in your mission to find out what has happened, thus they find out that we are on the same side (live and live).

BTW: where did i use "annihilate"?

Edit: Okay i used it to say that they will annihilate any threads. They did so, and they will do so. They will remove the thread. This never meant that they will annihilate someone or even a complete race.

Well actually it is funny. Especially since i had to remind myself several times to write it with a "t", and still it happens. I will not correct it with an edit though, otherwise your message would become wrong-quoted.

How thoughtful of you, Krulle. :P

I guess I don't see what we're discussing here. You at first said the Ur-Quan would probably stick to their old doctrinal ways when we brought them to the Kessari Quadrant, but now you're agreeing that they'd stand with us and not enslave, so...

*ring ring*
*ring ring*
"Now and Forever Annigil...*damn*...Kohr-Ah Pest Control."

"Yes, I have an ant infestation in my home. Could you please come over and take care of it?"

"What is your present location?"

"1603 Birchmont Drive Northwest. I'm the red house."

"Very well. We will prepare the FRIED."

"*gulp* the FRIED?"

"The Fuming Ring of Intercellular Eradication Device."

"That sounds WAY too dangerous. Anything less dangerous?"

"...The MADMAN."

"What?"

"The Myrmian Annihilating Device of Multiple Ant Nests."

"What?"

"A weapon of mass-devastation such as the likes of you has never seen. It will destroy all life..."

"WHAT?!"

"*slight decline in voice*ant life...within your abode."

"Oh."

"Prepare yourself for the coming cleansing, human." *click*

Kirk glanced at the clock, 4:45, almost quitting time. He had spent all day working on his big presentation, but it had paid off. He looked it over one more time, then told his computer to save the file.

"Saving file," responded the computer in a perfunctory voice. "File saved." Kirk breathed a sigh of relief.

"PRIORITY OVER-RIDE. NEW BEHAVIOR DICTATED. MUST REMOVE TARGET FROM COMPONENT MATERIALS."

Kirk froze. The computer made a whirring sound and then ceased activity. Kirk asked the computer to confirm existence of the file he just saved.

"File not found in the current folder," responded the computer. "PRIORITY OVER-RIDE. NEW BEHAVIOR DICTATED. MUST REMOVE TARGET FROM COMPONENT MATERIALS."

Kirk began to have a sinking feeling. The folder he had just been searching in was no longer there. He told himself to get a grip. The file was probably still there, the computer was just screwing up. He instructed the computer to do a systems check.

"System check complete. No errors found. PRIORITY OVER-RIDE. NEW BEHAVIOR DICTATED. MUST REMOVE TARGET FROM COMPONENT MATERIALS."

Kirk watched as before his eyes, his entire file system was erased. He had asked about the file, and it had been erased. He had asked about the folder and it had been erased. He had now asked about the file system and it had been erased. In frustration he screamed, "Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Unknown command. Please restate your entry. PRIORITY OVER-RIDE. NEW BEHAVIOR DICTATED. MUST REMOVE TARGET FROM COMPONENT MATERIALS."

Welcome to the first anual, true Miss Universe Pagent!  As you know, in the past, Earthlings held a "Miss Universe Pagent" of their own, not realizing that other species existed beyond their atmosphere.  Tonight, we bring you the sparkly Chmmr beauty Zzaznrma, the ever colourful Awkawk  Beaky from the Pkunk, the mysterious allure of none other than the Utwig High Proctor, the Dangerous tendrils of Death 1, the humour of Bob, Miss Umgah for the past 20 years, the... _{*whispers* how do I describe that? Okay.}    the rare... form of the human Gail from Unservalt, the green hued flower of the Supox, Bud...
...
*uproars of laughter*
Thank you, Bob, thank you.  Even though the audience wants a double-encore, I don't think that Spathiwa could withstand it.  We unfortunately *sigh* must allow our next entrant to display her talent.
Up next after these commercials:  Gail will practice the ancient human art of yoga!
*cut to commericials*
We're back!  And now there's Gail!  She's displaying her mouth-bones in a fierce grimace!  It appears *gulp* that she's used some sort of viscous fluid to keep her lip organs from sticking to them.  The judges won't like that!  As if she didn't have enough problems with the hair all over her head, her thin waist, and the two fatty growths on her frontal region.  _{Excuse me, *wretch*}  She just started flopping all over the stage as if her bones were melted.  Is this the "talent" of yoga, or is she diseased?  The judges seem unsure.  Poor Earthlings, I'm sure they're not going to win this contest, especially after this performance.

-VUX Commentator for Fashion/Celebrity News

I never said that they will stick to their doctrines. They will never end their habit of protecting any Ur-Quan life and pusuing any threat against Ur-Quan life.
That is not the same as following their doctrines.
Humankind would never stop doing anything to ensure the survival of humankind. Getting enslaved was one of the choices to ensure survival (perhaps chosing battleslaves would have given more options later on, but being shielded ensures survival as well).
The paths the Ur-Quan choose to deal with threats has changed. That they will deal with any (possible) threat has not changed.

But not in the manner they did when they weren't part of the LSN.

Survival, as a rule, is static. There is dynamics in the way to survive, but survival itself is a static thing. A race has to survive to procreate, learn, grow, and expand. Thats a given. How they go about it, however, is entirely up to the situation on hand (I.E.: Slave Shielding or Thralldom?)

An Kzer-za as a day care center administrator?  not likely..

However i could definitely see one being a prison warden.

An alliance transport arrives in the Delta Vulpenculae Star system. Which was transformed into a galactic prison for those who refused to obey alliance laws.  They are herded into a lander by the guards aboard the shuttle.

The shuttle lands on the surface.  All around the tattered remnants of what were once Great Androsynth cities lay in ruins.   One city which is composed of dormitories, factories and other essential needs for the alliance military.

The prisoners are herded off the shuttle.  They are brought to the main prison hall, where they waited.   A door opens, and out comes a green ur-quan.  Lord 821 addresses the new inmates.  

"Welcome to your new, permanent home.  This prison has no fenced in area.  No random booby traps.."

Lord 821 raises his tendrils into the air.

"Only an impenetrable shield, that prevents anyone from getting in, out. Or contacting you..   Have no hopes of escape or being rescued."

The red glow of the shield above bathed everyone and everything in an inescapable reminder of the crimes they have committed and the fate they sealed themselves into.

"Here you will work, if you do not work, you will not recieve rations.   Disobedience will be punished, now and forever..."


an ilwrath dentist eh,  lol  quite feasable.

an umgah plastic surgeon HA...   classic.

but what of the spathi?


It was Breedi's first visit to earth, he didnt really want to leave the calm gentle cities of spathiwa, however he was ordered to do so by his superiors in the spathi ruling council to go to earth as an ambassador of spathiwa.    He had spent most of his time locking himself in his residence, took extra care and invested in an extremely high voltage forcefield and laser turrets he could use in case of the arrival of The Ultimate Evil, he would take no chances if they came to pursue their ultimate intent to devour all sweet spathi flesh.   But this day coerced by his human colleagues they felt it necessary to show him a little fun for a change.    

He was a bit apprehensive about this place the hunams called Disney World.  Although it looked pleasant and benign on the outside he saw the devious nature within,  he simply knew that beasts of burden would be waiting around every corner to injure him.   He was especially worried for this for the fact that spathi flesh bruises so very easily..  

His friend, Ambassador Hayes (formerly the ur-quan starbase commander) brought him here..  He saw the lines of people waiting as if they were on a death march, his eye looked around in terror for the people around him,  he looked at a small hunam child, smiling excitedly.    Oh he thought, the poor little hunam, if only he knew what terror awaits him...

He was next in line, the tension grew even more to heights he hadnt felt in...  about five minutes...

The hunam in front of him went through the strange torture device that spun around as he handed his ticket to the other hunam in the booth.

"next" the ticket taker said.

Breedi was filled with fright, he moved slowly forward, tightly closed his eye and handed the ticket to the hunam, almost instantly expecting to be hurt, or worse killed.

"Ok go on through" the ticket taker said..

Even more apprehensively breedi moved towards the strange obvious torture device the hunams called a turnstyle..  why was it called a turn style? what was it supposed to turn a spathi into?

Slyly he crawled underneath its devious angular bars. Evading surely a cruel fate once again.

He made it through unbruised, to his suprise.   Hayes came up behind him. Put his hand on breedi's shoulder, it startled breedi.

"AAAAHHHH!!!!"   breedi screamed.   a group of hunams looked confusedly at him.   The very idea, he thought.  That these hunams really have no clue of what they are willingly walking into.  He decided that this better than anytime was to recite the daily spathi prayer.

"Oh god, please dont let me die today.  Tomarrow would be so much better." breedi chanted to himself

"Oh relax breedi, nothing is going to happen, trust me thisll be fun." Hayes said.

They walked down a long street resembling some old earth city.   In the distance a castle with menacing blue towers loomed, inside who knew what evil rests.   Breedi hoped he wouldnt have to find out.   When suddenly, he saw a horrifying demon approaching him, he shook in fear as the two wide eyed demon approached him, his glowing eyes menacing him with a never ceasing smile that stetched up to the massive circular ears on his head.

The demon stood in front of breedi, looked down at him, and with a supposedly friendly voice more than likely to hide the nefarious intents he had.   Breedi could already see himself being seasoned and cooked into a stew for the tasting pleasure of this demon known as mickey mouse.

He couldnt take it anymore, the fear overcame him and he ran back towards the entrance of this horrible place hoping to surivive long enough to make it to the relative safety of his home here on earth.



--------------------------------------

theres something for you to ponder...
-Hawk

I wouldn't expect Spathi flesh to bruise easilly, considering that evolution gave them a hard shell.
Also, this theme park story reminded me of another piece of fan fiction I read somewhere:
http://www.esglabs.com/personal/eodenius/sitcoms/spathi.html

A man walks into a barber shop.
"Medusa's Delight? Hmmm..."
He is greeted by a robotic desk manager who tells him to take a seat and that the barber will be with him shortly. Eventually, he hears a voice coming from the back room.
"Next."
Wairily, he enters the back room...it's quite dark. He manages to find the chair and sits down. An apron is put over him, but it's really heavy! Something cinches the apron up behind him and he is promptly pinned to the chair!
"Oh, how silly of me! I forget, you humans do not have very good low-light vision, do you?" The lights come on and reveal...a VUX! It's monocular stare pierces through him. Whether he can tell or not, it's smirking at him. He gives the man a once-over and says,
"Oooh my, we've got to get to work! Gib'jo, my little blobbie, would you get my chainsaw? And Kayzar, my chitinous fiend, please make certain the acetylene torch is nice and hot..." He hears the clicking of multiple legs and a soft sliding noise, from both directions come chuckling.
"Oh dear! I almost forgot!" The VUX says with a sardonic tone. "Dgako, get your specialty prepared. We'll probably need more than one tattoo on this one, so liquefy some extra lead..."