The Ur-Quan Masters Discussion Forum

The Ur-Quan Masters Re-Release => Starbase Café => Topic started by: Zeep-Eeep on August 01, 2004, 10:29:03 pm



Title: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Zeep-Eeep on August 01, 2004, 10:29:03 pm
What is your favorite UQM quote? Was it something ironic from
the Melnorm? Was it something timid from the Commander? Profound
insight from the Ur-Quan? Or just silly Frungy quotes?

Mine is the following, which seems to reflect the way many in power
think these days:

"Your independence is too dangerous for us to tolerate."
-- Ur-Quan Lord


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Shiver on August 02, 2004, 01:41:52 am
The entire Orz script from beginning to end. It doesn't get any more brilliant and insightful than that.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Chrispy on August 02, 2004, 06:58:31 pm
A mycon quote which goes as follows (or something to the effect, my memory may be off):

A thousand of your species does not contain the richness in one of my cells.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Death 999 on August 02, 2004, 09:57:12 pm
The Kohr-Ah. As seen in my personal text:

Quote
We did. You did. Yes we can. No.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Fsi-Dib on August 03, 2004, 05:03:15 pm
Mycon saying.

"Juffo-Wup fills in my fibers and I grow turgid. Violent action ensues."

In my early days I had no idea what that meant. ;D


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Cronos on August 03, 2004, 05:59:14 pm
Shofixti = Win

"I will hang your withered reproductive organs from my posterior monitor!
Kyaiee!"


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Death 999 on August 03, 2004, 08:39:28 pm
Oh, yes. The mycon quote is the only one I've used out of context, it's excellent.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Ivan Ivanov on August 04, 2004, 03:28:09 pm
A Few Spathi quotes.

"But what do you really want out of this great mystery called `Life'?"
"I want to live forever, with no pain whatsoever, owning vast personal property plus a company of nubiles.
If this is in your power to give, I beg of you to do so."

"Ahhh.... Mysteries of universe... try to understand them, but can we?
Nope! They're mysteries!"

And one from the Ilwarth:
"Even our housepets are rather evil"



Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: FalconMWC on August 04, 2004, 08:08:05 pm
I also like this one.....

Quote


Two aspects of your last statement defy the course of nature as I know it.
First
`Peace' as you call it, is an illusion.
If you have `Peace', you simply haven't yet seen the thing that's trying to kill you.
Second
Peaceful missions through the Cosmos rarely require weapons large enough to punch holes through a small moon.



Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Death 999 on August 04, 2004, 08:12:41 pm
Wait a moment. So the flagship IS equipped with planetary bombardment weaponry?


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: FalconMWC on August 04, 2004, 08:28:38 pm
That is when you have the ion cannon as your only weaponry. So......  That means that your main weapon is used for planetary bombardment - I wonder what Fwiffo would think of the Hellbore!   ;D


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Death 999 on August 04, 2004, 08:39:45 pm
Actually, I bet they say that even if your flagship has no weapons at all.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Chrispy on August 04, 2004, 09:11:56 pm
Help! It's armed to fire Planet Landers!!! :P


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Shiver on August 05, 2004, 12:12:30 am
The precursor planet lander is nothing to sneeze at. It wiped out all the evil ones, something the entire Spathi species couldn't do. To be fair, this is probably because they know absolutely nothing of ground warefare and didn't want to bomb their own planet.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: FalconMWC on August 05, 2004, 04:03:00 am
or stun it  :P


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Zeep-Eeep on August 05, 2004, 02:55:36 pm
I also like the following quote from the Melnorm. I sometimes
wonder if this was an anti-software pirating gimic...

In reply to the human's question:
But our cause is just! Isn't altruism the highest pinnacle of morality?

The Melnorm replies:
No, it is not.
In fact, in our culture, `giving'
with no fair exchange of goods or services,
is considered vulgar and inappropriate.
Please do not mention this subject again.



Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Slylendro on August 05, 2004, 02:57:00 pm
my signature of course and umgah
Well pop my pupae! It human Earthling again!
It just doesn't learn, does it? To Arms! To Arms!... wait a minute! Don't HAVE any arms!
AIEE!! MY ARMS!! WHO HAS STOLEN MY ARMS!!! AIEEE!! ARM THIEF!!!
Har! Har! Har!... Never HAD any arms! Har! Har! Har!


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Defender on August 06, 2004, 11:07:39 am
dont know why, but im always drawn to this...

Pkunk--

Ah, the mysteries of the Universe.
Try to understand 'em, but can you?
Nope, they're mysteries!

~DEFIANT


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Art on August 06, 2004, 11:27:12 am
Quote
Wait a moment. So the flagship IS equipped with planetary bombardment weaponry?


Well, 1) Spathi are known to exaggerate, and 2) Because a weapon has the sheer raw power to do something doesn't mean that's its intended purpose. AK-47's famously can slice a car in half if you shoot at the car from close range, but that doesn't mean that they're an effective anti-armor weapon.

My fav. quote, one of the rare gems among the Captain's side of the dialogue:

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the Alliance got its butt blasted."


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: taleden on August 08, 2004, 03:16:59 am
I had a few ideas for this, but I was just playing through the game again and was reminded of the best line ever:

Captain: When we were fighting, why didn't you use your Glory Device?
Katana: During my battle with the VUX, I decided to employ the weapon.  But I guess I used too much gusto... and the switch broke.

You really have to hear it spoken to appreciate its hilarity.. as much as I'd like to redo the voiceovers for some of the species, I could never, ever, change the Shofixti.  Its just perfect.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Rib Rdb on August 09, 2004, 01:07:49 am
I don't know if this count's as a quote, but I found this in the source yesterday and I think it's pretty funny:

#ifndef TESTING
     GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[1]) = FUEL_TANK;
     GLOBAL_SIS (FuelOnBoard) = 10 * FUEL_TANK_SCALE;
#else /* TESTING */
for (i = 0; i < NUM_DRIVE_SLOTS; ++i)
     GLOBAL_SIS (DriveSlots) = FUSION_THRUSTER;
for (i = 0; i < NUM_JET_SLOTS; ++i)
     GLOBAL_SIS (JetSlots) = TURNING_JETS;
for (i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
{
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots) = HIGHEFF_FUELSYS;
GLOBAL_SIS (FuelOnBoard) += HEFUEL_TANK_CAPACITY;
}
for (; i < 7; ++i)
{
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots) = CREW_POD;
GLOBAL_SIS (CrewEnlisted) += CREW_POD_CAPACITY;
}
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = STORAGE_BAY;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = SHIVA_FURNACE;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = SHIVA_FURNACE;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = DYNAMO_UNIT;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = TRACKING_SYSTEM;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = TRACKING_SYSTEM;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = SHIVA_FURNACE;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = CANNON_WEAPON;
GLOBAL_SIS (ModuleSlots[i++]) = CANNON_WEAPON;
#endif /* TESTING */


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Tiberian on August 12, 2004, 12:55:49 am
I like the captain's quote when talking with Tanaka, which went something like this:

"Nobody insults us like that, you fuzz-faced, piebald, impotent little roof-rabbit."


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Slylendro on August 13, 2004, 05:06:48 am
ok for more spiritual quots of course the Arilou takes it all also cuz the speech is gg

arilou038.ogg
Quote
In a way, ignorance is your armor, your best protection.
They cannot see you now. They cannot smell you.
Much of our work with your people involved making you invisible... changing your smell.
If I tell you more, you will look where you could never look before
and while you are looking you can and will be seen.
You do not want to be seen.


and my most favourite
Quote
Do you really believe Project Bluebook revealed EVERYTHING the Army Air Corps knew?
Do you know what REALLY happened at Roswell, New Mexico in the late 1940's?
Have you even heard about the Men in Black?
Do you have any friends who have `missing days'?
Do you sleep with your window unlocked?
Be seeing you...



I think I like it the most since it was the last sentence of the entire game which sums it in a kinda cool way


ALSO
i think this topic is better at general discuss

p.s pie is good


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: definite on August 13, 2004, 08:45:49 pm
How can you guys forget mighty(or poor) Dnyarri?

Your job is done, Captain! You have saved me! You can now safely remove your psychic protection device, and leave.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THAN
Why are you looking at me like that, Captain?
Don't you believe me? You question my word?
Okay, okay... so I was lying.
Big deal! So what.
Boy, you are A PAIN. Do you know that?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MY LIFE!?
You do? Oh.

And

Are you lonely, Captain?
Are you misunderstood by everyone else on the ship?
Is that why you KEEP CALLING ME WHEN I AM RESTING!?

And the contract to the God from the Druuge.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Tiberian on August 18, 2004, 02:43:23 am
Now don't hate me, but I just remembered one great quote from SC3 so I jut had to post it.

When the captain talks to the Arilou on one occasion, the captain says: "It's good to see you too, my smiling friend. Let's go get a beer." to which the Arilou replies something about the offer bringing back memories from some white-trash back on earth...

I damn myself for not remembering the Arilou's reply fully. If anyone does remember it, could they post it here?


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Shiver on August 18, 2004, 03:33:57 am
The part in SC3 with the Spathi getting scared of bunnies and killing thousands of them with their beam weapons was pretty hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I like animals, but that was quality.

I think the K'Tang were supposed to be funny, but I found it totally ridiculous that they said a lot of english words wrong when your translator is supposed to be figuring out an alien languge and repeating it accurately. The whole bit about them was just way too far-fetched.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: NECRO-99 on September 13, 2004, 07:45:22 am
This one is quite overlooked, but it's great.

Junior Scientist Hawkins, about the VUX Beast:
Quote
Well, it eats everything -- plant and animal tissue, wood, ceramics, plastics, asbestos fibers, several types of metal chairs, a desk and about half of everything a security officer wears. What it doesn't eat, it chews, and what it doesn't chew well, it just breaks up into tiny little pieces.


Sounds kinda like me if I'm hungry.  ;D


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: meep-eep on September 13, 2004, 09:23:11 am
It's even better with the formatting left intact. "metal" at the end of the line and then the unexpected "chairs" at the next one.


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Megagun on September 13, 2004, 08:35:30 pm
The Thraddash have some fun quotes..

Quote
SNORT! What a laugh! You are the least battle-worthy creature I've ever seen commanding a starship.


Quote
Attention weak, ugly humans aboard that wallowing garbage scow of a ship, SNORT!


Quote
Inferior Aliens. You have once again intruded upon the territory of the Thraddash.
This is a patrolled region of space. Your presence here is considered an act of War!
How wonderful!


Quote
Attention, cowardly alien human thing!
(har har har)


Quote
I am Korgk, battle-slave foreman of Culture Nineteen.
You may be interested to know that our model ZK-53 computer
has determined that you have only a fleeting 1.6% chance
of surviving a battle with our homeworld guardian fleet.
Shall we test this assertion?


And ofcourse, how can I ever forget, the answer to:

Tell us more of your brutal history.
Quote
Brutal!? You don't know the MEANING of brutal until you've heard the story of Culture Three!
How brutal WAS Culture Three you ask?
Culture Three was SO brutal that they maimed, tortured, enslaved, and in general brutalized
THEMSELVES!
You see, Culture Two had made a virtue of stoic resistance to pain, stubborn fortitude, that sort of thing.
So when Culture Three came around, they had a problem.
How were they going to impress everyone as being EVEN TOUGHER?
Their answer? They would arrive at a battle, stand on a tall hill where everyone could see them
and chop off one of their own limbs! Then they'd wave it around, screaming and shaking it at their enemies.
It worked! It scared the hell out of their opponents! They ran like crazy!
You could tell who was a real war hero back then by how few arms or legs he had left.
War parades were quite different too. Instead of sturdy old warriors walking slowly past the reviewing stands
they tended to roll, and at a good clip, too.
To you, an inferior alien, this may seem bluntly stupid -- the product of a sick, primitive society.
SNORT! You couldn't be more right!
Culture Three was, as you can well understand, only the third Thraddash Culture
and was therefore far from the tempered perfection you have encountered here and now.


More funny Thraddy quotes? (look at their history! THAT is funny!)
http://www.classicgaming.com/starcontrol/sc2/quotes/thraddash.txt
^^


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Halleck on October 18, 2004, 04:27:49 am
My favorite conversation between the Captain and the Talking Pet:

Quote
Come on, we're friends! Tell me about the scope of your psychic powers!

Captain, I don't think you meant to ask about my powers.
-<DIDN'T YOU MEAN TO ASK ABOUT FLOWERS?>-

Yes - Dnyarri - I - wish - to - know - about - flowers.

Flowers are beautiful, and smell nice.
Now be a good human and
-<LEAVE ME ALONE!>-


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: lurkerbob on October 18, 2004, 06:37:33 am
Captain: You attacked us before, and we defeated you! You cannot win! Submit!

Kohr-Ah: We did. You did. Yes we can. No.


Spathi: Too many to name. But especially when you're talking to the High Council at Spathiwa, and they say something along the lines of "If you held a gun to Fwiffo's head, he would say anything you wanted. In fact, if you held a vegetable to Fwiffo's head, he would probably say anything you wanted."


Title: Re: Best UQM Quotes
Post by: Halleck on October 19, 2004, 06:59:05 am
My favorite technical report:
Quote
SUBJECT: Talking Pet Lifeform.
DATA: This creature is physiologically identical to the so-called Ur-Quan `Talking Pet' with one notable exception.
It is highly intelligent, and evidences strong psychic capabilities.
Initial AIQR tests rated it well above human super-genius
though immediately after we made this shocking assessment
its scores dropped into the normal-sub-normal range.
Interviews with the subject have shown it to be cooperative
though a class-IV pan-species psychological profile places the creature far into the Furtive-Hateful domain.
There were also some disturbing incidents where
we talked about roses, daisies, and other pretty flowers!
SUMMARY: Everything's okay! Nothing to worry about with this cuddly little guy.
Not one thing!