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Yukki
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Translation of an old article about Fred
« on: June 07, 2004, 12:31:03 am »

Hi there,

Does anyone help me? Well, there is a Japanese PC magazine called Login. That mag has an article, an interview with Fred. Although the mag was out here in 1998, recently I have been trying to re-translate it into English and correct errors for my TFB fan site, because I think the article is worth to read, especially for just Star Control fans as well as TFB ones. Unfortunately I'm not so good at English, so would anyone here who writes proper English check/rewrite the following lame English? (I divided it into 12 parts).

http://home.att.ne.jp/wave/rainbow/Toys_for_Bob/draft1.htm

I'm going to upload them with his pictures on my site after it is complete and I got his final confirmation. (Fred doesn't remember the interview well but the rough content has been already confirmed by him anyway).

Thanks in advance,

-Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2004, 03:30:54 am »

I'm an American, so my English is far from "proper", but I'll help where I can Wink

Here's my revision of 1):

1) For this issue we interviewed Fred Ford, a programmer for a game company called Toys For Bob. He was born in Santa Monica, California. "My father was a university professor and a mathematician," Fred said. "He used computers at work but we didn't have any at home, so I didn't have a chance to use them as a child...I think he passed on the 'mathematician gene' to me, which led me to programming, a math and science job."
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"I’m not a robot like you. I don’t like having disks crammed into me… unless they’re Oreos, and then only in the mouth."  --Fry
Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2004, 09:10:20 pm »

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I'm an American, so my English is far from "proper", but I'll help where I can Wink

Thanks so much for your help, 0xDEC0DE:) I updated the draft...and...uh, sorry, the word, "proper" probably wasn't a word appropriate to the meaning -- I mean "native speakers". I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.

I would appreciate it if you (or anyone) could find time to check or rewrite the rest of them.
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Death 999
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2004, 11:34:31 pm »

2) Influenced by his father's being a mathematician, he chose a computer class in high school. This was rare in those days, and was his first opportunity to use one.

3 of course is exactly right since it's an exact quote from English.

4) After he spent a lot of time on advanced programming at high school, he entered UC Berkeley, a prestigious university, and he majored in computer science. The Sirens' call of math and science may have stirred in him, and he was drawn into the programming world more and more. In particular, he began working as a programmer for the first time.

Hmmm... the exact quote in 5 is mighty peculiar.  "Because of so many people"? "and the husbandry was not so easy"??

6) At that company, he made several Japanese games for PC6001 and MSX like Pillbox and Seabomber. He recalled those days and said, "There were a lot of restraints on making games in those days, such as graphics, sound, memory... we couldn't make games the same way as we can do now." At that time, there were only  16 colors, and the only available sounds were different flavors of beeps. We figured it would have been tough work to make satisfying games. But his view of the matter was different: "I tried to use all of the power and capacity of those computers. I gathered important experiences from tackling the limitations. Even now, I'm trying to get the best performance out of current advanced platforms. You know, it is not so easy a task, but for me it makes programming all the more exciting."

7 is a bit of a run-on sentence, but is basically OK aside from that.

8) His first game at TFB was Star Control, a space adventure game. It gained a reputation for its elaborate plot and extensive world as well as its great sense of humor. Although commercially the game didn't become a big hit, it received cheers from the zealous supporters, and consequently TFB started making the sequel, Star Control II. "As for Star Control, I think we did the best job*. I'm fully satisfied with it," said Fred. "So we were eager to answer and exceed the expectations of Star Control fans when we were making Star Control II. But our enthusiasm to aim at perfection caused a problem that we weren't paid for 6 months from Accolade at all because the term of contract expired... but we had enough spirit to make the best game as we could, so we carried on with it without regard to the problem."

* either 'I think we did the best job possible', 'I think we did a great job', or 'I think it was the best job we had done'.

I'm not sure which he meant.

More later! Hope this helps.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2004, 11:34:51 pm by Death_999 » Logged
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2004, 01:49:08 am »

Quote
Hmmm... the exact quote in 5 is mighty peculiar.  "Because of so many people"? "and the husbandry was not so easy"??

Some people jokingly use "husbandry" to refer to raising a large number of children, so it could be a direct quote. I'd love to know what that got translated into in Japanese. :)
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Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2004, 04:30:19 am »

Hi Death999,

Thank you so much for your help! I updated the draft again.

Quote
3 of course is exactly right since it's an exact quote from English.

Wow, no problem at all? Cheesy

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4)...The Sirens' call of math and science may have stirred in him, and he was drawn into the programming world more and more.

I have a question --  Do you think the meaning of "the Sirens' call of math and science" has the same nuance as "the strain of math and science" in my draft?  (I used "the strain" as the meaning of "his blood").  I think "the Sirens' call" means a kind of temptation, so I'd like to know if your translation can also include the nuance of the original meaning, "his blood of math may lead his way".  (I'll update 4 after I grasp the meaning clearly).

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4)...In particular, he began working as a programmer for the first time.

The original meaning is "at this point" instead of "in particular" -- "At this point, he began working as a programmer for the first time". What do you think of this English?

Quote
Hmmm... the exact quote in 5 is mighty peculiar.  "Because of so many people"? and "the husbandry was not so easy"??

5)...Well, his parents had eight mouths to feed (eight growing kids) -- so his family was not wealthy enough.  "Because of so many people" means "because his family was large one and he has many siblings". "The husbandry was not so easy" means "it was hard to juggle household expenses to make ends meet". (So he had to work to pay his own tuition fee).  Do you think you understand my explanations now?

Quote
7 is a bit of a run-on sentence, but is basically OK aside from that.

Thanks for your advice. I rewrote it again. Would you click here http://home.att.ne.jp/wave/rainbow/Toys_for_Bob/draft1.htm and check 7 again?

Quote
8..."As for Star Control, I think we did the best job*. I'm fully satisfied with it," ......* either 'I think we did the best job possible', 'I think we did a great job', or 'I think it was the best job we had done'.

I'm not sure which he meant.

The original meaning is "I think I did everything I were able to and had to do for Star Control I". Do you think which translation will be the best one?  

Quote
More later! Hope this helps.

Thanks again and I hope you come back here again:)
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Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2004, 04:51:22 am »

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Some people jokingly use "husbandry" to refer to raising a large number of children, so it could be a direct quote. I'd love to know what that got translated into in Japanese. Smiley

It's interesting, isn't it? I didn't know that and it was not a direct quote. (I'm sorry to fall short of your expectation anyway).
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2004, 08:14:24 pm »

Quote
I have a question --  Do you think the meaning of "the Sirens' call of math and science" has the same nuance as "the strain of math and science" in my draft?  (I used "the strain" as the meaning of "his blood").


OH, I see. I never think of one's blood as a 'strain', that word is reserved for infectious agents.
So, you could simply say 'Math and science stirred in his blood and he was drawn...'

Quote
The original meaning is "at this point" instead of "in particular" -- "At this point, he began working as a programmer for the first time". What do you think of this English?


I did a little rewrite to avoid being repetitive. The 'in particular' was intended to describe the way in which he was drawn in.

Quote
5)...Well, his parents had eight mouths to feed (eight growing kids) -- so his family was not wealthy enough.  "Because of so many people" means "because his family was large one and he has many siblings".


Right, I just meant that the grammar was off, not that I couldn't figure out what was meant. 'Because of' needs to be followed by a noun or an assertion. 'so many people' is neither. Try 'Because there were so many people...'

Quote
"The husbandry was not so easy" means "it was hard to juggle household expenses to make ends meet". (So he had to work to pay his own tuition fee).  Do you think you understand my explanations now?


I understood. In this case, I had never heard of husbandry being used for anything other than animal care, like on a farm. But I suppose it is technically the right word.

Quote
The original meaning is "I think I did everything I were able to and had to do for Star Control I". Do you think which translation will be the best one?


Hmm... still a toughie. I have settled on something below, in which I fix up some other things I missed.

Cool His first game at TFB was Star Control, a space adventure game. It gained a reputation for its elaborate plot and extensive world as well as its great sense of humor. Although commercially the game didn't become a big hit, it received cheers from the zealous supporters, and consequently TFB started making the sequel, Star Control II. "As for Star Control, I think we did the best job possible. I'm fully satisfied with it," said Fred. "So we were eager to answer and exceed the expectations of Star Control fans when we made Star Control II. But our enthusiasm to aim at perfection caused a problem, that Accolade didn't pay us at all for the last 6 months, because the term of our contract had expired... but we had enough spirit to make the game as best we could, so we carried on with it anyway."

Oh... one other thing. Though FF was working with PR3 at this time, I thought that TFB was not formed until later.


And don't worry, it's not like I'm going anywhere...
;>
« Last Edit: June 08, 2004, 08:15:07 pm by Death_999 » Logged
Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2004, 02:15:14 am »

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OH, I see. I never think of one's blood as a 'strain', that word is reserved for infectious agents. So, you could simply say 'Math and science stirred in his blood and he was drawn...'

4) I prefer to use "may" because it has the interviewer's or readers' imagination -- "Math and science may have stirred in his blood".  What do you think of it?


Quote
I did a little rewrite to avoid being repetitive. The 'in particular' was intended to describe the way in which he was drawn in.

I get it.


Quote
Right, I just meant that the grammar was off, not that I couldn't figure out what was meant.

Ah, grammar...I see.


Quote
I understood. In this case, I had never heard of husbandry being used for anything other than animal care, like on a farm. But I suppose it is technically the right word.

I checked my English language dictionary and -- I think you're right -- according to it, "husbandry" is usually a word for farming, so I'd like to avoid to use the word. I tried to use "household economy" instead of "husbandry". But I'm not sure.  Do you think "our household economy was not so easy" is a natural English?


Quote
Hmm... still a toughie. I have settled on something below, in which I fix up some other things I missed.

Thank you:) And I agree with you, I believe that "I think we did the best job possible" is the best one.


Quote
8 "...Accolade didn't pay us at all for the last 6 months, because the term of our contract had expired... but we had enough spirit to make the game as best we could, so we carried on with it anyway."

I feel the last word, "anyway" differs from the original meaning.  The original nuance was "we didn't care about it (or we could even forget about it) that we hadn't paid for six months because we really wanted to make SC2 and had the enough spirit". Do you have any idea instead of "anyway"?


Quote
Oh... one other thing. Though FF was working with PR3 at this time, I thought that TFB was not formed until later.

Well, in a sense I think you are right.  Fred told me that they worked as outside contractors from 1989 to 1993 -- they just called themselves Toys for Bob. And then they started working with Crystal Dynamics -- still as contractors. Crystal left TFB alone as a wholly owned subsidiary of the company, so he and Paul could get to keep their TFB identity.  But after they left Crystal, they formed "Toys for Bob, Inc.", so their own company is only two years old now.  A bit complicated, isn't it?


Quote
And don't worry, it's not like I'm going anywhere...;>

*Sigh of relief*Smiley
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Death 999
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2004, 08:03:08 pm »

Well, you can restore the original wording instead of 'anyway'. It just seemed to me that it was an exact phrase I had frequently heard out of Japanese translations, so I suspected it was simpler in Japanese, so I attempted to render it as simple in English.

More later...
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Yukki
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Re: Translation of an old article about Fred
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2004, 01:27:59 am »

Could anyone who is a native speaker of English help me to correct errors in the rest (9 to 12) of the English compositions? http://home.att.ne.jp/wave/rainbow/Toys_for_Bob/draft1.htm  -- I really respect his works as well as Fred himself, so I wish to make complete sentences as much as possible...

Thank you,

-Yukki

Quote
Well, you can restore the original wording instead of 'anyway'. It just seemed to me that it was an exact phrase I had frequently heard out of Japanese translations, so I suspected it was simpler in Japanese, so I attempted to render it as simple in English.

More later...

Thanks again!:)
« Last Edit: June 13, 2004, 01:38:19 am by Yukki » Logged
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