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Author Topic: Star Control Story  (Read 27502 times)
Valaggar
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #60 on: March 27, 2007, 02:31:32 pm »

This is just a single joke. "Robert"-"Bob" is a double joke (Robert Zelnick, the one that gets the most entries on Google when you search "Zelnick", and "Bob" from "Toys for Bob"). Also, there's that Umgah, Bob.
It would be interesting to have him one of the Umgah captains in the fleet... ""This is your captain speaking!" - Bob to the Vindicator crew.
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wml
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #61 on: March 28, 2007, 12:40:14 am »

This is a brilliant idea.  I read through all the suggestions but not the drafts, yet.

It has so much potential for telling the psychological aspect of the adventure.  I haven't heard yet how the Captain selects which particular pilots to engage in a melee.  Not just the tactical aspect of what ship, but for instance if you have 3-4 Cruisers, which one do you send out first?

An Orz marine raid into an enemy ship would be interesting. . .

I think a big theme should be learning how to recover from your mistakes while always facing ambiguous choices.  I love the comment about missing the quasi-space wormhole and having to camp out for 2 weeks while fending off Slylandro probes (it sort of happened to me).  So you should recreate some of the mistakes that noobs routinely make, because we all can relate.

Can't wait!
« Last Edit: March 28, 2007, 01:50:38 am by wml » Logged
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #62 on: March 28, 2007, 12:52:59 pm »

This is just a single joke.
True, but it preserves the in-joke instead of changing it to another one.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #63 on: March 28, 2007, 02:04:37 pm »

Grak decides.
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Grakelin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #64 on: March 29, 2007, 01:47:37 am »

Well, I've generally been avoiding his first name so far. It's not really important to me, but if you guys feel like it could be an important part of the story, you can have a poll on it, or something. Just don't take the ethnicity of the name Zelnick into consideration when deciding on it. After all, 200 years in the future, there will be all sorts of people with Ukranian last names, many of which probably won't be aware of a Ukranian connection. Still, any name goes, I'm sure people on Unzervault get named all sorts of things. Tongue

In chapter 2 I want to have more on the character's offtime. Suggestions for recreational activies of the 23rd centure would be muchly appreciated. :O
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #65 on: March 29, 2007, 08:45:08 am »

In chapter 2 I want to have more on the character's offtime. Suggestions for recreational activies of the 23rd centure would be muchly appreciated. :O
In a space warship I doubt there is enough free room to have things like baseball fields (even on the vindicator) and such. So I bet they will have to be creative for R&R. One thing I would check into is what servicemen in navy vessels do for R&R.  Or even what the crew of things like a B-17 did back in WW2 during missions while they were not over enemy airspace.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #66 on: March 29, 2007, 10:47:50 am »

They would play MELEE! Cheesy
Something like, "during the Hierarchy War events, someone named Paul Reiche XVII developed a funny simulation game where the players could pick any ship from Alliance and Hierarchy and engage in a battle against their fellow players or computer" Smiley
A rather comical scene came in mind, where the Awesome AI from Melee accidentally takes control of the Vindicator for a while... Smiley
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #67 on: March 29, 2007, 04:48:03 pm »

Actually, if you look at the crew module you can see what appears to be a hydropinics bay, aka a garden. This hints at some extra space. Also! When the storage bays aren't in use, the crew chould use those to play games in. Finally, I imagn in the future the computers are good enough to play some pretty awesome games.

 There, I'm done.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #68 on: March 29, 2007, 05:49:05 pm »

Actually, if you look at the crew module you can see what appears to be a hydropinics bay, aka a garden. This hints at some extra space.

That sounds like it would be essential equipment for survival while spending a month or more just travelling through Hyperspace, not so much an extra space issue.

For some reason, I get the feeling that, at least initially, the crew (at least the ones from Unzervalt) would be avid readers, especially of historical chronicles of the last year of the war and events that followed. Of course, I can also imagine games of "corridor football" in the crew quarters (like in the dorm hallways in college).
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wml
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #69 on: March 29, 2007, 06:06:31 pm »

I'd imagine the crew from the starbase are all seriously bored and restless and want to vent their energy.  Rough and tumble games like corridor football sound well-suited.  I'd also imagine a lot of pranks taking place, especially when new races join the crew (Fwiffo, Pkunk would be ideal candidates).  Who knows how disciplined these people are after spending years on a starbase or under the red Earth sky?  This is their first chance for some action and discipline might not be a priority.

Also, what's the policy on the Earth crew's re-population effort?  Is it encouraged?  Regulated?  Discouraged while on the ship?

Their past experience might also make them extremely cunning, manipulative, even ruthless.  I could see some with their own motives besides saving the galaxy -- a spy for the Hierarchy, a guy with a deal with the VUX to deliver the Captain to Zex, etc.  These people would influence how the Captain outfits the Vindicator, perhaps.  And I'm sure the crew who performs the module installations get weary of the Captain who continues to change his mind throughout the game.  Before the RU cost increases for the crew, I could see a temporary strike taking place.
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wml
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #70 on: March 29, 2007, 06:30:25 pm »

Some things I'd like to see in a Star Control story:

Right from the get go, Fwiffo is leading a dangerous life.  In the early game he's often the ship's only defense against Sylandro probes, Ilwrath, etc...  That's a lot of pressure for a guy who, even by Spathi standards, is a coward.  I'd imagine Zelnick would have to practically threaten him with death to get him to captain his vessel at times.  But if he lasts, it's because he's also good.  Damn good.  He should be there in the final battle against the Sa-Matra, and I wouldn't mind seeing him save the day, and learning what it takes to be a hero.

I see the seeds for the Black Spathi Squadron rumor, especially if Zelnick retains Fwiffo and a handful of other Eluders. . .  Wink  Maybe the black and red paint camouflages or conceals their appearance (to look like harmless probes or something) when they invade slave-shielded worlds. 

Also:  Just read the first draft.  Very nice pace and set-up.  I had some pre-conceived ideas about how the mining operations took place so I was a little confused about your description.  I never read any of the manuals so I thought everything took place while inside the lander.  It does make sense that some people would die while others didn't if they actually got out of the lander.  How does the drill operate?  I don't think a totally new reader would have a problem, though.

I think you need to watch out for modern-day vernacular that people might not use in the future.  Do they know what a Swiss army knife is and do they use it in the future?  What do they eat?  Who knows what marshmallows are?  And there were some grammar errors, such as "whose" vs. "who's", but those are very minor and will be corrected later.

Re: the Pkunk battle.  I have only played the UQM port so I don't know what other insults the Pkunk guys said during battle.  Do they say all those things?  I thought it was just:  Jerk.  Moron.  Stupid.  Dodo.   Cheesy  I'm not sure what their place is in the very beginning of the story, either.  Did I miss something?

Great work!
« Last Edit: March 29, 2007, 09:25:27 pm by wml » Logged
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #71 on: March 29, 2007, 07:44:28 pm »

Jerk.  Moron.  Stupid.  Dodo.
Twit wimp baby loser idiot dummy!
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #72 on: March 29, 2007, 09:23:29 pm »

Hahahaha.  Exactly!   Grin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #73 on: March 31, 2007, 02:44:36 am »

I'd assume we'd still have marshmallows 200 years in the future. We've kept plenty of other screwed up foods around for a lot longer than marshmallows. Tongue

I wasn't going for accuracy with the insults. The Pkunk engines are powered by their aggression, not by magic words. Hence, I didn't put as much effort into finding exact insults for them. I think even the Pkunk would lose faith in themselves if they ran out of things to say.  Grin

 The begginning sequence with the Pkunk and the Ilwrath is the scene in which the Ilwrath Avenger, which the Vindicator confronts at the station, is damaged. I felt that rather than have the Ilwrath whine about it in a 3 sentence monologue, I'd introduce it as the first scene. It needs a lot of work though.

I've been thinking over some extra-sciency designs for the mining drill. Some ideas that have crossed my mind during brainstorming are:

-The drill somehow superheats the metal into a liquid and puts it in barrels (I don't like this, it's too far out)

-The drill grinds up the metals into smaller pieces, carrying these smaller pieces up a funnel on the side of the drill-arm, and stored in containers. This probably wouldn't work in real life, but neither do most other things in science fiction.

-The drill drills AROUND bits of useful metals and lugs them into the back of the lander. It's inefficient, and the lander would need to be a bit tougher, but it could be done. Granted, it would take all day.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #74 on: March 31, 2007, 06:11:52 am »

In a universe were the manipulation of gravity is possible a lot of strange things could be done with weird science.
Here is one possible idea:
Gravity is an attractive force as far as we know gravity effects everything equally, but what if you can make it so it doesn’t? If you could then you could make a device that could literally pull ore out of the ground.

 Here is how I would envision it working:
The crew detects a large vein of ore and land on the ground above it. If the vein is very deep they can call on the mother ship to make a “mine shaft.”  They pull out the “drill” (it would probably have a different name) and tune it to the material they want. Then they deposit it above the ore and lift off, taking the lander to a safe distance, then activate it. The drill starts pulling on the ore like how a magnet pulls on the iron particle in a sandbox and as the drill spins up the ore will start to fly towards the drill. The drill will automatically adjust the power settings so as the ore builds up it will crank up the power. The reason for the slow start is when a certain amount of ore surrounds the drill it will act as armor to protect the drill from any dangerous high velocity ore fragments. After the drill detects that enough ore is surrounding it, it will crank up the power so that any impurities will be forced out like air that is underwater. Once the drill is done the crew will find a sphere of the pure material with a crust of other stuff, and the drill at the core.

After the crew will have to cut up the sphere to extract the drill and to get the material in small enough pieces to be stored aboard the lander.
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