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Author Topic: Star Control: The Mirror Universe  (Read 5743 times)
Elerium
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Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« on: May 19, 2007, 12:13:29 am »

Me and a friend were talking about what would happen if there was a mirror universe based on Star Control, now we've all seen it done before in Star Trek, with everyone having evil/good mirror versions of themselves.

Now, we've gone through some speculation, including some really dodgy ones but here goes another funny topic:

Prehistory

No doubt the Milieu would be a terribly evil coalition of races, with the Dnyarri being the most good creatures in the galaxy. The Ur-Quan were a brutal race but I would regard their emotions rather suppressed by their carnivorous nature. The Taalo I would imagine would be neutral. The subsequent genocide of these 'evil' races is because of the Dnyarri to create peace for all Dnyarri kept by the slave races for eons, until Kzer-Za hacks himself and broadcasts across the galaxy.. now guess where this goes.

Kohr-Ah gives his Eternal Doctrine about how races must be preserved. The green Ur-Quan think otherwise and want the freedom of all species under the Ur-Quan in order to never fall to the good Dnyarri again.

SC1/2

The Chenjesu are wise leaders, but otherwise evil and start the Alliance to begin the war across the galaxy.

The Humans are evil and wish to eradicate a load of alien races.
No doubt the Earthlings would be called Terrans.

Umgah are humourless.

VUX love humans, ZEX however wishes to eradicate Humanity.

Androsynth fight for the Terrans, due to good treatment in this universe?

The Mycons thrive on life worlds and terraform shattered worlds. Syreen would probably be evil in this universe, and launch the attack against the Mycons, with the Mycons running away or something. Syra never had an eden, rather the planet is a frecking battlefield.

Shofixti depending if they are raised or not by the Yehat are honorless, and the Yehat instead of making their own civil wars actually had a decade of peace.

The Thraddash are one of the most strongest races around, and have wisdom.

Umgah are humourless!!

Mrns ended up hating the Chenjesu, or joining w/e.

Utwig- never broke the Ultron, gave the Druuge the bomb.

Supox- might as well be slightly evil.

Druuge- good traders in our universe, not hideous slave traders.

Ilwrath are good, which would make for a really strange turnout. The Ilwrath wrapped themselves around by starting off as good then ended up evil, but what about if they started off evil and made the perfect evil society and wrapped around to good?

In the mirror universe, Zelnick sets up the Empire and makes himself Emperor (seems like the only good way to start this off)

Zelnick is a mortal enemy of Talana in the mirror universe, as opposed to a marriage.

Pkunks are an evil offshoot of the Yehat.

Arilou/Orz- no idea.

Comment on anything, it's just a random thought that popped in my head after watching A Mirror Darkly on Enterprise yesterday. Of course, it's not all fully thought out, so hey Tongue

« Last Edit: May 19, 2007, 12:39:50 am by Elerium » Logged
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2007, 12:49:08 am »

There was a piece of colaborative fan fiction on the SCDB with a similar premise a few years ago.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2007, 12:49:41 am »

Hmm, lets see: Fwiffo is a grim and nefarious fighter Ace and Zelnik is the supreme overlord of the Alliance Slave Empire – sporting a goat-tee, of course.

I disagree that Zelnik and Talana would be enemies; her evil mirror-universe personality makes her the ideal mate for Zelnik. She could be his right-hand girl, dishing out punishment to dissenters in a similar outfit to the Dark Queen from Battletoads.

Actually, you could argue the Burvixese would be the most evil creatures in that universe. They were very pious in alerting the Druuge to the Khor-Ah threat, so you can bet they'd be cruel and nasty in an alternate universe. They would never get wiped out by the Khor-Ah, since the Khor-Ah are now good. Instead, the supremely vile Burvixese conquer the benevolent Druuge and Gg to start there empire on the eastern side of the map. The Burvixese Empire stands as a major roadblock to Zelnik's conquests.
Perhaps they ally due to their mutually sadistic nature. Most likely any alliance will be short-lived due to both sides treacherous natures.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2007, 05:19:04 am »

I might as well try this too, i'm fond of typing up gigantic posts that i'm sure nobody will read. This time around, however, we'll assume that each race only started the opposite way, but they progressed from there. That way we avoid a lot of cliches. We'll begin with humanity and work from there.

All entries go from past to present.

Humanity

- Humanity did not stop with the thermonuclear war, the Peace Vault was never created, and the United Nations never gained any power.

- Earth is a post-apocalyptic wasteland with a few million or so survivors wandering around in nuclear winter.

- The Androsynth were never created.

- Humanity becomes the new host for the Orz after the Arilou gave humanity a *smell* instead of taking it away from them.

Arilou

- The Arilou arrive early in humanity's history, subtly guiding humans along so that at one point in the future they may test them, though we do not know what for.

- The Arilou, displeased with humanity destroying itself via thermonuclear war, decide they are no longer their "children" and as a sort of capital punishment, they provide survivors with a *smell* and depart for Quasispace forever.

Orz

- The Orz *smell* humanity and every pitiful, wretched survivor of the thermonuclear war becomes the familiar jovial fish heads. There is little to no resistance. The Orz are the same as the Orz from our universe -- it is a transdimensional being that can sense such anomalies as a mirrored universe and correct it in its frame of reference.

- The Orz establish themselves in the Sol system, and soon expand to claim the Centauri stars as their region of space as well.

- The Orz discover Unzervalt...

Chenjesu

- The Chenjesu are fully aware of humanity's imminent self destruction, but they do not act. They merely observe. The Chenjesu from this universe are simply observers, and they carefully analyze what has happened before moving on to the next civilization. They feel no obligation to save humans from themselves.

- The Chenjesu soon depart for a different region of space, having lost all interest in the abominations they've seen in our sector. They are never heard from again.

Mmrnmhrm

- The Mmrnmhrm have been able to repair their Mother Ark, and have now been able to churn out almost endless quantities of themselves. They replicate to an extent only seen in one other machine in another universe -- the Slylandro Probes.

- The ubiquitous Mmrnmhrm travel from star system to star system, only seeking to replicate themselves. Whatever resistance they encounter is destroyed by lasers and seeker missiles. They are a swarm, and they are most importantly a powerful swarm.

VUX

- The VUX of this universe are intellectuals, and most importantly, collectors. Whether it is fine art or lifeforms they consider beautiful, they have acquired it. Unlike the VUX of our universe, they are not as pompous to all the other races, and in fact are some of the nicest around. They merely want to share their squishy tentacle love with everyone.. unfortunately, this goes to the extent of preaching with force. Resistance is not an option.

- A bitter VUX admiral by the name of ZEX is cast off from VUX society, strangely having the same attitude as the VUX of our universe. He lives a life of solitude on a world on the fringe of VUX space, attacking anyone who dares to visit him. He does not want to take part in the activities of his race, which he views as weak.

Syreen

- The Syreen are absolutely adored by the VUX, who integrate them into their culture when their habitat ships drift into their space. The VUX, unfortunately, look at them more as items than actual sentient creatures, and the Syreen can never truly leave.

Mycon

- The Mycon are created by the Precursors as some sort of scouts to seek out new worlds. These Mycon have highly developed conversational and diplomatical skills, and are meant to record data  on worlds before returning to report on what they've seen. Unfortunately, they can't remember where they must return to, and a short while later they forget the purpose of their mission. They all settle in a small cluster of stars in the same region of space as was in our universe, and they hibernate, along with a cache of artifacts they have discovered.

- A passing Mmrnmhrm swarm completely shreds through the hibernating Mycon, leaving nothing left of their worlds. The organic molecules from the Mycon are absorbed into the Mmrnmhrm collective to assist in the production of bio-weapons to use on tougher races. All the artifacts, however, are left behind as useless.

I'll continue this tomorrow when I have more time. Tell me what you think so far.  Grin
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2007, 12:24:39 pm »

I don't like the subsequent kill off of some races, but here's my take on it Tongue:

Humanity never stopped with the thermonuclear war. Billions died in nuclear firestorms, the UN merely a memory and from the ashes rose a brutal empire which used the Androsynth as footsoldiers. The Androsynth, tired of being used as constant war tools in the use of the Terrans try to flee from Earth in a massive exodus but fail to get the movement started. They eventually discover Hyperspace for the Terrans.

The Arilou sees the Humans not as our universe does, which means they are pleased with the outcome of events. When the Humans attack Arilou, they see them as 'frisky' and worthy of being their children.

The Mrns and the Chenjesu didn't get along well the first time they met, leading to a war that grounded down the Chenjesu and the Mrns.

The Chenjesu see the brutality of the Terrans and refuse to get involved by watching, but the Terrans notice the much slower Chenjesu. As the Terrans are xenophobic and using new weapons of war, fire upon the Chenjesu Broodhome, which responds with a brief exchange of fire with the Broodhome crippled. The Broodhome is boarded by Androsynth super-soldiers and with the Broodhome analyzed by the Terrans to create new battleships, as well as experimenting on live Chenjesu to create hyperwave transmitters.

The Chenjesu soon depart for a different region of space, having lost all interest in the abominations they've seen in our sector.

The Ur-Quan arrive preaching 'freedom' to all sentient races. The Terrans respond with brutality and declare war on the Ur-Quan, who do remarkably well using the new technology. The Ur-Quan start mobilizing and bringing other races into the Hierarchy. The Terrans move around and follow suite.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2007, 12:35:29 pm by Elerium » Logged
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2007, 02:40:51 pm »

I want to do this in chronological order, rather than doing it as per race...

The Precursors are a sinister race, and extremely technologically advanced. They control the galaxy for thousands of years before they are finally driven out by righteous Mycon crusaders.

The Ur-Quan and the rest of the Milieu are evil manipulators. The Ur-Quan are the best at it, and they manage to become the rulers of the Milieu. Over time, Ur-Quan superiorists bring about the destruction of each other Milieu race. Then they find the Dnyarri, and capture them (approximately as per the story told in SC2 by the neo-Dnyarri). Furthermore, while the Dnyarri are enslaved, the Ur-Quan genetically splice them, resulting in a race of bright green toadies and a race of black toadies.

The Dnyarri finally discover a way to enhance their weak psychic powers and use them to dominate the Ur-Quan. They force the Ur-Quan to work as translators.

The green Dnyarri form the Path of Now and Forever, that they will enslave all other races. The black Dnyarri form the Eternal Doctrine, that they will compel all other races to self-destruct. The two races of Dnyarri go in opposite directions around the galaxy, each fulfilling their own doctrine.

The Large War of 2015 takes place. Most HUMANs are killed, the Earth is reduced to a nuclear wasteland, and the remaining HUMANs take refuge in the so-called "Peace Vaults." While inside, a HUMAN scientist biologically engineers the Androsynth to be able to live on the outside. The Androsynth quickly colonize the outside, then enslave the remaining HUMANs and render them unable to reproduce. The HUMANs, however, manage to escape into space and flee to the Vulpeculae constellation.

A small band of Yehat scoundrels discover the Shofixti, and land on their planet to try to steal mineral resources. The Shofixti hoodwink the Yehat and steal and reverse-engineer their spacecraft.

The green Dnyarri arrive and gain control of the large, influential race of Thraddash, hoping to use them to do battle against other local races. However, the Thraddash have no weapons technology, only biological and terraforming technology, so the Dnyarri leave them behind. Then they try to control the Umgah, but they take a long time about it because they are laughing so hard from the refined, intellectual Umgah sense of humor.

Meanwhile, the Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm detect the presence of the Dnyarri. They realize that they are the only two psy-immune races, and that they will have to fight against Dnyarri thralls. They prepare for battle by sabotaging nearby races' spacefaring and weapons technology.

The aggressive Utwig raid Druuge vaults and steal the Ultron-Matra, a huge battleship. They use the Ultron to conquer their neighbors, the Supox, but then the Ultron-Matra breaks down, and sails off towards Alpha Pavonis. Later, the Arilou find a surviving Ur-Quan in the wreck of the Ultron-Matra, and give it to their friends the Zoq-Fot-Pik.

The HUMANs meet the vux. A vux captain suggests that HUMAN stands for "Horribly Ugly Monstrous Arrogant Numbskull." This leads to war, but the war quickly ends when vux IDF research results in the Orz appearing. The Orz meet the HUMANs, who are so scared of the Orz that they don't ask them what happened to the vux. However, the Orz get more and more agitated and finally attack, saying "You not asking about vux is so *frumple*! Nnnnnggggaaaahhhhh!!!!!!" The Orz quickly destroy the HUMAN race, except for a small group of HUMAN scientists that landed on Unzervalt, discovered nothing interesting, and were about to leave when Mmrnmhrm elites swooped in and stole all their spaceships.

The Dnyarri lose all their Umgah troops to an attack by the Spathi. The Dnyarri realize that the Spathi make much better slaves, gain control of them, and use powerful Spathi battleships to subjugate the Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm. The Chenjesu and Mmrnmhrm realize that they have no chance against the Dnyarri, so they ask to be slave-shielded on one planet where they can combine into a race without psy-immunity so that they can join the Dnyarri slave empire.

The Pkunk, a race of hardened skeptics, offshoot from the Yehat. Driven out of their home stars, they decide on a convenient race to oust: The Ilwrath, who had previously had all their weapons and spacefaring technology destroyed by the Chenjesu. The Pkunk destroy the Ilwrath completely.

The black Dnyarri arrive. They head for the Gg, but the Gg hoodwink them and send them to attack the Burvixese instead. The Burvixese offer valuable information to the black Dnyarri in exchange for their temporary survival. The black Dnyarri force the Druuge to self-destruct, and they take their Rosy Energy Shield; they fly to the Pkunk, and force them to give up their Fusion Spindle Engine; they go to the Thraddash, destroy them, and claim the Aqua Laser Cannon. Then they fly to Alpha Pavonis and repair the Ultron-Matra.

Meanwhile, on Unzervalt, the remaining HUMANs finally mine enough resources to build a new starship. The Captain of the new starship flies back to Vulpeculae, only to find that the HUMAN race has been destroyed by the Orz. He tries to fly about the galaxy on crusade against the Orz, but doesn't get far. The Syreen leader, Talana, easily seduces him and steals the starship. Talana flies around the galaxy, gathering mineral resources to improve the ship, making allies, and collecting ancient artifacts - including a matter-antimatter bomb and the surviving Ur-Quan that the Zoq-Fot-Pik had been taking care of.

The black Dnyarri use the Ultron-Matra to eradicate the green Dnyarri, and then, knowing that the Syreen would be able to contest their mind-control powers, bring the Ultron-Matra against Talana's smaller vessel. What they aren't prepared for, though, is their ancient enemy, the Ur-Quan - and worse yet, and Ur-Quan who has been taught how to play Frungy. The neo-Ur-Quan easily hoodwinks the Dnyarri pilots, allowing Talana to take control of the Ultron-Matra. Then, Talana flies the Ultron-Matra to the Mycon homeworld, mauls the Mycon star fleet, and steals their Black Hole Device. She takes the Black Hole Device to Procyon, and uses it to destroy the planet, just in time to prevent the Chmmr from emerging as the ultimate slave race for the Dnyarri.

The black Dnyarri regroup and send their entire star fleet after Talana and the Ultron-Matra. Knowing that her mind control powers alone are not enough to resist the entire Dnyarri race, she fleees to the Syreen homeworld, only to find that it and all its inhabitants - the entire rest of her race - have been destroyed by the Mycon as revenge for her eariler attack. As the Dnyarri fleet arrives in her home star system, Talana, despairing, flies the Ultron-Matra into the sun and activates the matter-antimatter bomb that she happened to have picked up somewhere. The sun explodes, destroying Talana, the Ultron-Matra, the neo-Ur-Quan, and all the remaining Dnyarri.

The End.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2007, 04:08:01 pm »

In the beginning, the galaxy was overpopulated with various alien empires filling nearly all space.
Then a weak, primitive race called the pre-Cursors appeared. The alien empires raced on their homeworld, vying for the control of such a new found source of territory (2 empty square metres, a real treasure). The pre-Cursors were quickly killed and the alien empires departed to the galactic edge in search for a Question.
The history of the pre-Cursors is the most well-documented history in the galaxy.

Thousands of years passed, and two very sociable, though small in size, races called the Kohr-Ah and the Kzer-Za evolved on a peaceful, pleasant world, and soon got friends with each other.
In fact, they got along so well that they established to hold a periodical worldwide Frungy championship.
Over the ages, their race expanded, colonizing a hundred of worlds, though they really hated explorations.
On such a world they found a bunch of races who did not get along well with each other, constantly warring over the poor natural resources of their world. One of them was a race of cabbage-like aliens who were especially weak to psychic compulsion - the Taalo. The Kzer-Za and the Kohr-Ah were especially fond of cabbage, especially after being forced to eat a lot of sausage, so they consumed the Taalo. They forced the remaining races to enter an alliance named the "Sentient Milieu"; those who weren't capable of maintaining peace were exterminated by the Kzer-Za and Kohr-Ah.

In the end, a single race called the Melnorme, who hated trade and gived everything for free, remained. They hated bright colours, preferring to dress in black and white, or at most brown, so they tricked the Kzer-Za and the Kohr-Ah to enter a big, special chamber, where they were transformed into a brown race henceforth known as the 'Ur-Quan'.

The Ur-Quan, however, did not like the colour change, and killed the Melnorme, driving away the few survivors, who took the name of "Mael-Num".

The Ur-Quan were terminally depressed and set on a voyage across space, until they found a dark blue world.
On the surface of the world they met the Valaggyari, a race of immensely beautiful sentient lifeforms who delighted in spamming Channel 44 with 'Captain Satellite' movies. They were very diligent, but unfortunately the galactic market was oversaturated with workers, so they happily accepted the jobs offered by the Ur-Quan as translators.

Millennia of peace passed, and the Ur-Quan were happy again, watching 'Captain Satellite'.
However, they were unaware of a coalition of evil beings dubbed The Empire of Zelnick, whose Emperor had a huge battle platform, the Vindi-Matra, shaped between a dildo and a phallus. He and his servants unleashed their fury on the Ur-Quan, and Zelnick created a Hierarchy of alien races to rule the Ur-Quan, who were nothing more than mere slaves.

One day, an Ur-Quan, tired by the endless work at Zelnick's latest project, a Great Mask, rushed at Zelnick's Throne Room and cried, 'Hold! What you are doing to us is wrong! Why do you do this?'. Zelnick's heart suddenly stopped, and he, still shocked, confessed that a horribly ugly woman, Talana, compelled him to marry her, and she threatened to let him die of hunger if he didn't obey all her commands - "Enslave" and "Conquer for the greater glory of the human race!".
The Ur-Quans still had the Taalo's ancient recipes available, and promised to feed Zelnick for free. He exiled Talana on Unzervalt, and grew fatter and fatter with each Ur-Quan cabbage he ate.

A race in Zelnick's former Empire, the Ilwrath, once met the Valaggyari, just while he was spamming Channel 44 with his usual 'Captain Satellite' movies. The Ilwrath, before the Valaggyari's appearance, were faithful viewers of a religious programme named "Dogar and Kazon's Daily Good Deed", which preached religious tolerance and love of all beings. The Valaggyari had commited, by spamming Channel 44, what, in the Ilwrath's view, was an act of utmost sacrilege, but "Dogar and Kazon" preached that evil must be met with good, and so the Ilwrath had to reward the Valaggyari for their evil deed. This did not bode well with certain Ilwrath, who decided to flee their world, only to land on a planet infested by evil Toucan birds named the Pkunk. The Pkunk held a council to decide the most evil thing to do to the Ilwrath, and it was established that they should cook them into chips while still alive and eat the chips.

They also stole the Ilwrath ships, wondering what to do to enhance them, so that they would be better served in their evil deeds. One day, a Pkunk engineer accidentally dropped an Ilwrath chip into an Ilwrath ship's engine. Unexpectedly, the chip produced a chain reaction leading to the production of copious quantities of powerful explosive. A Pkunk ship, the Sa-Cator, was equpped with the explosive and set forth to annihilate Zelnick's huge battle platform, the Vindi-Matra.
In the ensuing chaos, the main Pkunk army charged, and Zelnick sounded the retreat.

However, Zelnick's elite forces, the brave Spathi, did not like the retreat command, and rushed forward for Honor and Glory, only to be blasted to ribbons.

The evil Pkunk set on a Death March, killing everything in the galaxy, save for Talana, who had escaped from Unzervalt in a tiny ship.
On her voyage, she met a red, tumbling probe, who uttered: "SUBMIT TO US, PUNY CREATURE!". Talana replied in kind, and the probe transmitted: "NEW BEHAVIOR DICTATED. MUST MAKE FRIENDS WITH TARGET." and joined Talana's fleet. As it was discovered later, an endlessly evil, Communist race, the Slylandro, with their giant ships, had stolen the Probes from the passing Mael-Num (they did not know that the Mael-Num anyway make gifts to anyone they encounter). The Probes apparently had a bug that made them friendly and amiable.

The devious, evil Slylandro were contacted by Talana and agreed to help her, only to stab her in the back when they had the occasion. They developed IDF technology and snagged two innocent alien races from another dimension, the Orz and the Arilou, who apparently were very scared by the very idea of interdimensional travel. Soon enough, they became the masters of the Multiverse.
(Coincidentally, Slylandro ships were made of Thallium)

THE END
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2007, 06:19:53 pm »

I'd kind of think that if there was supposed to be a Mirror-verse, the Arilou, Pkunk, Orz and Melnorme, maybe the Utwig, would remain the same. They all have some ability in traversing through dimensions, but of course, that's if it was supposed to be serious Tongue.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2007, 12:07:35 am »

It's worth noting two things about the mirror universe.

1. The mirror universe isn't "everything backwards", it's "morality backwards". People are evil, but they do more or less the same stuff otherwise.

2. The only people who seemed to be different in "Mirror, Mirror" were those under the Terran Empire. The people on the planet that they were negotiating with for goods were the exact same as in the standard universe.

So either we have evil humans, or good Ur-Quan, or something. Pick a race and run with it.

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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2007, 01:06:57 am »

1. The mirror universe isn't "everything backwards", it's "morality backwards".
No it isn't; it's "Whatever backwards that I feel should be backwards."

In other words, who are you to show up and start dictating what our universes are supposed to be like?
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2007, 04:45:07 am »

I didn't.

When the original Star Trek mirror universe was made, that was what happened in it, and I noticed a vast difference between that and what you were doing. If you want to reverse everything, that's okay, but to be a technical "mirror universe" akin to the mirror universe created in that setting, which is what was implied is the purpose of this topic, judging by the name "Star Control: The Mirror Universe, it would generally follow that pattern.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2007, 02:54:17 am »

So do the pkunk have little beards?
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2007, 05:32:16 pm »

EVERYONE has little beards. Except Talana. Her beard reaches the floor.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2007, 08:11:42 am »

Not everyone.  The Ur-Quan's, the Dnyarri, and the Druuge should all be goatee-free, because then they'd be the nicest guys around.  Only evil gets a goatee.

Anyway, here's my little bit to add.

All I really have is stuff for the Mycon ans Syreen.  And Pkunk.

The Mirror Mycon are Precursor planet destroyers, drifting from system to system, annihilating everything.  But they'd been left alone so long that their programming drifted, causing them to terraform planets, and giving them an obsession with the destruction of something called Juffo-Wup.  While the Syreen were off conquering a poor defenseless race, like the VUX, the Mycon flew in and terraformed Syra.  Once they returned to find their homeworld a perfect planet, they speed off to reward the Mycon for fixing the boiling hellhole that had been their homeworld.  But, on the way over, they change their minds and decide to completely annihilate the Mycon, despite the amazing speed of their ships.

Meanwhile, the Pkunk are totally destroying the cheerful Ilwrath.  The Pkunk had been "insulted" when the Ilwrath asked them if they had been having a nice day.  Their gods, Dogar and Kazon, had just called to make sure they were being as kind to their neighbors as possible.  Unfortunately, the Pkunk take everything as a violent insult.

Meh, not the best, but it's my contribution.  Sort of.
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Re: Star Control: The Mirror Universe
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2007, 05:56:53 pm »

EVERYONE has little beards. Except Talana. Her beard reaches the floor.
No, not to the floor, just to her d*ck.
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