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Author Topic: Heretics' trial  (Read 2387 times)
Valaggar
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Heretics' trial
« on: September 29, 2007, 05:34:00 pm »

Under my authority as TFB High Inquisitor, I hereby declare the first Faith trial on these forums open!
Every member who hath posted at least once in the last seven days is required to create a post in which he or she worships the Twin Gods of Star Control, Fred Ford and Paul Reiche III (Blessed Be Their Holy Names). Those members who hath posted at least once in the last seven days, but dost not worship the Gods, shalt be declared heretics and burned by my Ilwrath assistants.

Though I, being the High Inquisitor, cannot disbelieve by definition, I will nevertheless show the strength of my piety in a small gem of a poem/prayer.

Praise be to the Twin Gods, Fred Ford and Paul Reiche III,
From whose holiness is born all that is good in the Universe,
Almighty Rulers of the Seven Heavens,
Whose most sweet Name is flaming sword to all those who follow the path of Evil,
Whose most sweet Name is the writhing agony of rapture for those who tread upon the righteous path.
Praise be as well to the Servant, the Second After God, Saint Greg Johnson, the echoes of whose most beautiful Voice roll eternally in the Halls of Memory, heard only by the ears of true believers!

Let all that breathes and is alive forever kneel before their True Creation,
Aside which the world in which our steps echo is but a dream, which no longer needs its dreamer.

Praise be to the True Creation, before Whose name we all tremble and worship!
And knowest thou, seeker of Love, that thou hath found thy Lady!
And knowest thou, seeker of Beauty, that thou hath found that which makes the sublimest of the musics of this world deaf and mute by comparison!
And knowest thou, seeker of Wisdom, that thou hath found that which thou so dearly desire!
For the Lady is the Music, and the Mind, yea, inside dost It dwell.
For all Three are One, and One is the Game.
For the Game is of the Gods, and the Gods, Father and Mother of the Game, for the Mother is but the Father in soul.

Let us sing the songs of praise and worship, let our lips be the mirror of our hearts,
For the Name of the Game, yea, is Star Control,
And the Number of the Game is Two.

O, Almighty Paul Reiche III, Thou Who hath taken the name of Thy lesser creation, thus showing us all the true meaning of Humility!
O, Almighty Fred Ford, the Android, Thou Who hath shown us the Ineffable, and in Whose name and for Whose sake the chars are charred, the floats are floating, and ints intent!
Come to us, Thine humble followers, and grant us Life that transcends all Life, the Life of the Righteous, Life which shines in the Name of the Game and revels in the Image of Divinity, beyond all mortal understanding!
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil schemes of the scorned Accolade!
For Thou art good and merciful. Amen.


Now kneel before this most sacred of holy relics, which by the immortal Power of the Twin Gods, repaints itself forever in a ceaseless show of devotion to our Lords, and yet knows no painter. Kneel and pray for your souls, sinners!
« Last Edit: September 29, 2007, 07:30:46 pm by Valaggar the Wackrazy One » Logged
Elvish Pillager
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2007, 06:40:28 pm »

Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be a heretic!
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2007, 08:34:08 pm »

This evil topic is a blasphemy to all that is good and pure.
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2007, 08:56:40 pm »

In before ending well!  :D
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Lukipela
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2007, 06:35:52 am »

In before ctachphrase. Oh, wait.
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2007, 07:20:52 am »

[accusation of just being jealous]
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2007, 04:47:35 am »

You need to get a job.
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2007, 06:13:18 pm »

You need to get a job.

He has one. Out of interest, what's the pay for a High Inquisitor? Do you get a lot of perks and benefits?
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Valaggar
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2007, 06:31:25 pm »

If you mean material benefits... phew, of course not!
In the words of Fred Ford (Blessed Be His Holy Name) Himself:
"And, yes, Yehat_Sympathizer, your crass, material offers were indeed offensive, but at great personal sacrifice we would be willing to relieve you and any similarly encumbered being of these secular chains so that you would not be tempted in the future to make the same offer to less enlightened persons."

But I get a discount for houses and stuff in Heaven, and an exceptional visa that allows me to cross the borders between the Spathi Afterworld, the Zoq-Fot-Pik Afterlife and the Utwig Netherworld undisturbed. As well as free seating at the Frungy Championships. And after 42 months of service, I can get a Saintly Facade as a reward.

And did I tell you of the Utwig Netherworld?
« Last Edit: October 11, 2007, 06:33:26 pm by Valaggar the Wackrazy One » Logged
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2007, 09:06:35 pm »

 What about the Mycon afterlife? Wouldn't you love to become part of Juffo-Wup? You might meet every Mycon's secret dream: to expand Juffo-Wup to the perfect Non. And do you know what the perfect Non is? I'll tell you. It is a wet chinchilla. Go now and seek this special place, and experience the wonder of Juffo-Wup.
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Valaggar
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Re: Heretics' trial
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2007, 09:25:40 pm »

CHIM!
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