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Author Topic: the problem  (Read 4022 times)
Shiver
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the problem
« on: March 03, 2008, 07:28:12 am »

helow. iam capiten zelnick. pleas hear my plight.





thsi is the Vindicatro. poeple will tell yuo that it is osome but it is not. for thisship hides a terrible secret.





there is onley one place to shit ont he whole ship.





i have to wlak 6 kilimiters thare adn back from teh captains chare every time i need 2 taka leak. you know what?? i dont even liek tokking to aliens. i say fuck this and fcuk you.





im leaving with fwiffo. dnyarri will kee pthe ship. i think ucan go eatta bag of hell!
« Last Edit: March 12, 2008, 08:38:40 am by Shiver » Logged
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Re: the problem
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 03:38:38 pm »

Yeah, I heard that you had help from the Umgah when you had to find a good spot for the ship's bathroom.

I know! Position your ship in such a way that the bathroom is in a place where you could enter it from quasi space. Then warm up the ol' portal spawner, fling yourself into quasi space, and go through the right portal! Problem solved!

Well, sort of. But maybe next time you'll remember to put more bathrooms in a spaceship! I heard that the U.S.S. Enterprise even has one thoughtfully installed in the captain's seat. He doesn't even have to get up! Of course, the whole bridge stinks like you'd never believe........   
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Nicholai
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Re: the problem
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2008, 10:33:39 pm »

Why is the only bathroom on the entire ship INSIDE of a High-Efficiency Fuel Tank?  This seems like a disasterous design flaw!!

And more importantly, where did everybody poop before the Melnorme sold the technology to the Captain?

... and lastly, does Fwiffo's ship include a bathroom of its own?  If so, is it appropriate for Captain Zelnick to use it?
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Re: the problem
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2008, 10:44:24 pm »

Why is the only bathroom on the entire ship INSIDE of a High-Efficiency Fuel Tank?  This seems like a disasterous design flaw!!
No, no, not at all. Waste is recycled... at high efficiency. Smiley

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And more importantly, where did everybody poop before the Melnorme sold the technology to the Captain?
In exactly the same place. Only they had to hang out an airlock to do it.

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Shiver
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Re: the problem
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2008, 12:39:24 am »

Why is the only bathroom on the entire ship INSIDE of a High-Efficiency Fuel Tank?  This seems like a disasterous design flaw!!

And more importantly, where did everybody poop before the Melnorme sold the technology to the Captain?

... and lastly, does Fwiffo's ship include a bathroom of its own?  If so, is it appropriate for Captain Zelnick to use it?




NO MORE QUESTIONS. COMMANDER TOAD IS YOUR NEW MASTER. BOW YOUR HEADS TO THE FLOOR, YOU SLAVE MAGGOTS. LANGUISH BEFORE MY AWESOME RED POWER.

(Also, everyone gets fridays off and we do icecream socials twice a month.)
« Last Edit: March 04, 2008, 12:43:58 am by Shiver » Logged
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Re: the problem
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2008, 04:28:08 pm »

...must reach....Taalo mind shield....NO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! I'D RATHER DIE THAN GO TO AN ICE CREAM SOCIAL! NO! AAAAAAAGH!....almost there...Arg! Wait! Pain will....drive you out! *slaps face repeatedly* 
« Last Edit: March 04, 2008, 04:30:04 pm by Dancing Fungus » Logged

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Re: the problem
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2008, 07:50:02 pm »

I always thought the crapped in his head. I mean, the guy's got to be flexible 'n all, but hey, whatever works. And, see, the crew all stand on the poop deck, which is guess is a result of that bathroom being so far away.

He he. Nautical humor.
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Elvish Pillager
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Re: the problem
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2008, 09:31:03 pm »



Yeah, she's not wearing an Excruciator.

So?

"Excruciator" is just a fancy name for having no toilets aboard ship.
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Re: the problem
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2008, 09:42:57 pm »

Ah, thank goodness for that. I couldn't take it anymore.
But how do you tell the difference between a male and female Ur-quan?
And can you tell at all what sex it is if it hasn't used the bathroom recently?

And where did the Dynarri poop in the first place? The poor little critter wouldn't have been able to mind control anyone if it couldn't get to a toilet.
Or do Dynarri have unusually high bladder storage abilities? 
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Shiver
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Re: the problem
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2008, 11:26:08 pm »



YOU CAN MS PAINT AN UR-QUAN ONTO MY GLORIOUS FLAGSHIP, BUT YOU CANNOT MS PAINT THE SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF. THIS SCENARIO IS NOT PLAUSIBLE. FAIL.





HEY! NEW UR-QUAN SLAVE! SEE THE HELL BAG? EAT FROM THE HELL BAG.



Quote from: Dancing Fungus
And where did the Dynarri poop in the first place? The poor little critter wouldn't have been able to mind control anyone if it couldn't get to a toilet. Or do Dynarri have unusually high bladder storage abilities?

GOOD QUESTION, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED! GRAB A MOP AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS I'VE LEFT ON THE FLOOR.
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Elvish Pillager
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Re: the problem
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2008, 02:21:14 am »

I didn't use MS Paint, the Dnyarri isn't a flagship, I didn't paint the Ur-Quan onto it, the flagship isn't glorious, the Dnyarri isn't glorious, and the situation would be hard to consider implausible since it happened countless times in the history. Have I debunked you enough now? I would have figured out a way to MS Paint suspension of belief, too, if I had MS Paint.

Ah, thank goodness for that. I couldn't take it anymore.

Always happy to oblige. *bows*

But how do you tell the difference between a male and female Ur-quan?
And can you tell at all what sex it is if it hasn't used the bathroom recently?

I have been unable to find any reliable evidence for the existence of male Ur-Quan. On the other hand, the Ur-Quan themselves confirm the existence of Ur-Quan females, so I use "she" as a generic pronoun to be careful. ^_^
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Shiver
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Re: the problem
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2008, 05:21:04 am »

I didn't use MS Paint, the Dnyarri isn't a flagship, I didn't paint the Ur-Quan onto it, the flagship isn't glorious, the Dnyarri isn't glorious, and the situation would be hard to consider implausible since it happened countless times in the history. Have I debunked you enough now? I would have figured out a way to MS Paint suspension of belief, too, if I had MS Paint.

You really, really don't get how joke threads work. That dead fish gimmick you pulled in "ITT we are posting on the Internet" was the least funny thing in the thread and it looks like you're screwing up another one with your stunted sense of humor. Please stop trying to commandeer my thread.
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Elvish Pillager
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Re: the problem
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2008, 12:43:38 pm »

Sounds like you care too much. It's not as if insulting me will make "your" thread more funny, anyway.
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Lukipela
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Re: the problem
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2008, 04:24:34 pm »

The problem with your useful contributions is that this forum really isn't used to stuff like that, we've only had a thread or two before this. Maybe you should start off with instructions in the first post? Or just make a general "Humour thread guidelines" thread.
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Shiver
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Re: the problem
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2008, 04:47:23 pm »

The problem with your useful contributions is that this forum really isn't used to stuff like that, we've only had a thread or two before this. Maybe you should start off with instructions in the first post? Or just make a general "Humour thread guidelines" thread.

Eh, it's alright. As far as screw-around threads go this was a C-minus on my part in terms of delivery. I also should have known the UQM community would dive straight into yammering about semantics if I made anything related to Star Control itself.
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