I am announcing this year's annual Dogar and Kazon fund drive. It would be great to get some donations so that the Ilwrath can secure a few more divine broadcast channels for the Twins. With continued support, we can even continue your favorite Ilwrath children's shows.
However, due to the dollar's recent drop in value, we have decided to instead use the ancient Roman system of currency, the Denarii, just like last year. Please do not confuse this form of payment with the Dnyarri. The Ilwrath do not want a repeat of last year's notorious disaster.
Payments can be any amount, though high amounts are preferred. If you just send pennies or something similarly worthless, the Ilwrath will eat you. Oh yes, they will.
Other forms of payment: Sacrificial victims [Hu-mans, Spathi, Pkunk, and maybe Thraddash please, again no Dnyarri. Thanks!] Cars Sugar, especially Frosted Flakes
If you make high enough donations you could get an exciting gift. 50 Denarii-- A wonderful coffee mug 75 Denarii-- An umbrella that, when unfolded, looks like an impaled Hu-man 100 Denarii-- An Ilwrath plush toy 125 Denarii-- A CD album of various forms of screaming 150 Denarii-- A build-it-yourself sacrificial altar. 200 Denarii-- A Sacrifice-Me-Elmo 250 Denarii-- 2 Tickets to see Sting live in concert on Alpha Tauri, with VIP passes to his beheading 500 Denarii-- Your very own sensory cluster 750 Denarii-- Extra mandibles for more amused chittering 1000 Denarii-- A broken cloaking device. Your reward is to fix it and send it back to us.
Our representatives are standing by, so make that call to 765-347-KAZON now! If you prefer to mail it via courier, send those donations to: Alpha Tauri 1 345 Dogar street, New Old New Kazon City, 75643 Ilwrath-PBS merger building
Thank you for your support!
« Last Edit: May 23, 2008, 09:47:24 pm by Dancing Fungus »