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News: Celebrating 30 years of Star Control 2 - The Ur-Quan Masters

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Author Topic: Dogar and Kazon Fund Drive  (Read 2132 times)
Dancing Fungus
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Armor always looks cool with extra techno...right?

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Dogar and Kazon Fund Drive
« on: May 23, 2008, 07:51:39 pm »

I am announcing this year's annual Dogar and Kazon fund drive. It would be great to get some donations so that the Ilwrath can secure a few more divine broadcast channels for the Twins. With continued support, we can even continue your favorite Ilwrath children's shows.

However, due to the dollar's recent drop in value, we have decided to instead use the ancient Roman system of currency, the Denarii, just like last year. Please do not confuse this form of payment with the Dnyarri. The Ilwrath do not want a repeat of last year's notorious disaster.

Payments can be any amount, though high amounts are preferred. If you just send pennies or something similarly worthless, the Ilwrath will eat you. Oh yes, they will.

Other forms of payment:
Sacrificial victims [Hu-mans, Spathi, Pkunk, and maybe Thraddash please, again no Dnyarri. Thanks!]
Sugar, especially Frosted Flakes

If you make high enough donations you could get an exciting gift.
50 Denarii-- A wonderful coffee mug
75 Denarii-- An umbrella that, when unfolded, looks like an impaled Hu-man
100 Denarii-- An Ilwrath plush toy
125 Denarii-- A CD album of various forms of screaming
150 Denarii-- A build-it-yourself sacrificial altar.
200 Denarii-- A Sacrifice-Me-Elmo
250 Denarii-- 2 Tickets to see Sting live in concert on Alpha Tauri, with VIP passes to his beheading
500 Denarii-- Your very own sensory cluster
750 Denarii-- Extra mandibles for more amused chittering
1000 Denarii-- A broken cloaking device. Your reward is to fix it and send it back to us.

Our representatives are standing by, so make that call to 765-347-KAZON now!
If you prefer to mail it via courier, send those donations to:
Alpha Tauri 1
345 Dogar street, New Old New Kazon City, 75643
Ilwrath-PBS merger building

Thank you for your support!
« Last Edit: May 23, 2008, 09:47:24 pm by Dancing Fungus » Logged

Thrice thy blinded cat hath mewed....

Re: Dogar and Kazon Fund Drive
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2008, 09:12:01 pm »

Zebranky food
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baby we can photoshop until we both rofl

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Re: Dogar and Kazon Fund Drive
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2008, 03:52:29 am »

200 Denarii-- A Sacrifice-Me-Elmo

I want one.
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