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Topic: Eternal Doctrine part II (Read 2684 times)
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Tiberian
*Smell* controller
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Posts: 335
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(This is a copy of the post at PoNaF forum)
After a productive July, the second part of Eternal Doctrine is ready. This part contains chapters 7-12. You can get the PDF from here:
http://koti.mbnet.fi/tibe9mm/Eternal_Doctrine_part_II.pdf
For those who are not familiar with the subject:
Eternal Doctrine is a direct sequel to Groombridge Log. Together these books give rebirth to the story of Star Control 2 as a novel. In case you have missed the subject entirely, the first novel, Groombridge Log, can be purchased from most online bookstores, including Amazon, both as an e-book and a printed copy. The PDF can also be found free of charge at http://www.star-control.com/hosted/Groombridge/Groombridge_Log.pdf
As said earlier, Eternal Doctrine starts off exactly where Groombridge Log ended. The first six chapters of Eternal Doctrine can be found at http://www.star-control.com/hosted/Eternal/Eternal_Doctrine_part_I.pdf
And since topics without an image are boring, here's one:
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CelticMinstrel
Enlightened
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Oooh, the reveal of the Groombridge Log is... rather surprising. Altogether this was an interesting read.
I see at least one more conditional phrase that's not correctly constructed - it's "If noun would have verbed, noun would have verbed" but it should be "If noun had verbed, noun would have verbed". (The one I noticed is on page 30, not sure if there are others.)
Page 78: "the other one on Lydia’s head and the other one on her back" - you probably want to replace the first "the other" with "one".
This is just a thought and not a correction, but I wonder if it would be better to use the term "plasma" for the Thraddash's exhaust - flames in space strikes me as really weird since there's no air.
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Death 999
Global Moderator
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We did. You did. Yes we can. No.
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Unless the chemicals are contained by force fields!
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oldlaptop
*Smell* controller
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Or there's some form of solid oxidizer/fuel mixture formed as a combustion product in the afterburner! (Like soot, only flammable in the vacuum of space.) Easy to imagine those little puffs as clouds of flaming dust, isn't it?
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