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Author Topic: Star Control Story  (Read 27485 times)
Grakelin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #15 on: December 24, 2006, 06:20:57 pm »

I can't imagine Arilous ever going on board an Orz ship. I'm sorry, it's just not happening. Tongue

I'll be checking out the Arilou Planet to see if a shore leave is actually plausible. I have this funny feeling that they tell you quite clearly not to go down. Tongue If it's possible, I'll give it a try, though. I'll be doing some more work tonight, though Christmas Feasting is fast approaching (I celebrate Christmas on the 24th, its a Scandinavian thing). Hopefully I'll have detailed the arrival at the starbase and the mining of mercury by the end of tonight. (When I last left off, they had just stumbled across the Ur-Quan message probe)
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #16 on: December 24, 2006, 06:35:19 pm »

Have it as a sarcastic, anti high-authority Yehat, who was stranded on Earth when the Slave Shield went up when he was only a fresh recruit, and has been turned slightly bitter from the relationships gained and lost there, and the fact his own kind has been turned to the Ur-Quan.


Overall, this sounds wonderful, I hope this does well! Cheesy.
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"would newton's law theory actually work if a Chmmr Avatar did a backwards pelvic thrust towards a planet and would this constitute an X=Y-0 in the part it ran straight into a Supox Blade and lasted long enough to survive?" - Elerium (as Valaggar)
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2006, 07:43:43 pm »

"%&#@! The miner almost got fried and everyone in it too. Where can I find some good cheap replacement?" *glares through a porthole to one of the fleet's ships*.

Remember, it ain't a democrazy in the fleet.  Zelnick is pulling the strings and although he (you) makes good decisions all and all, there may be some questionable ones as well. How often did you send a miner down to a planet just to see "how long it lives", and then reloading the game? Now imagine you can't reload... Good drama storywise...

Just imagine the horror of the crew hearing they're taking an internship on a Druuge vessel...

Or the crew's surprise when they see a Pkunk ship being blown up in the distance, only to have it reappear again...

Heck, you might twist it in a humerous side a bit and make everyone get popcorn and 3d glasses when a space battle between 2 ships ensues...

(spoilerish) Make the guy that guards the hold suddenly hear voices when that top secret thing has been picked up from the Umgah Homeworld.

The whole idea of shore leave on a planet is a bit too much for me... We're fighting a war here, fight or flight. There's no time to frolic around picking daisies (besides, pick the wrong kind of daisy and it bites ya).

Oh well, hope that gives you ideas...
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Grakelin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2006, 08:16:03 pm »

I do intend to have lots of trading between crew members between the Starbase and the Vindicator (I have an important character in mind that will join the away party from the Starbase), but I'm not sure if there WERE Yehats on Earth when the shield went up. Tongue Unless I find something contradicting it, I'll consider it though. ^_^ I don't want to go overboard on anti high-authority characters though. Tongue

Some characters that I'm 95% sure will be included (the other 5% is if someone says: "No way, that's not possible" and most of them are 100% sure. Tongue) are:

-Ensign Erika Graves: She's our pilot (since the Captain finds it hard to monitor both the ship AND the controls at the same time. Zelnick shows her around the controls a bit on the journey to Earth, and you'll find that her skill starts out kinda shabby but improves as times goes on). She was born on Unzervault, around the same time Zelnick was. Not a terribly aggressive person, she often has to watch the Captain and Sparks (see below) argue over the smallest thing. Later on, there will be several instances where she wonders "If I was better at flying this thing, would we be in this mess?" Kind of cookie cutter at the begginning, but I plan to flesh her out more and more.

-John Sparks: He's the first officer. An older man, who walks with a cane, he has his own ideas of how the ship should be run. Not particularly trusting of others (his suggestion upon arriving at the starbase is to blow it to bits), he often speaks without thinking clearly. Nonetheless, his deeds are always (in his mind) for the protection of man kind. He's not grasping for power, or wealth, or anything like that. He simply wants to do the right thing, and stay alive long enough to see it happen.

-Lieutenant Louie Robinson: He's the guy in charge of the mining shuttle. While on Unzervault, he kept the peace by becoming something of a one man police force. Many people attribute him to preventing a total disarray in the colony. He also just so happens to be a respected leader, always able to keep a clear head in a tough situation. He surrounds himself with all sorts of people, a constant need for companionship driving him on. Despite all this, he's not a perfect person. He has a tendency for sudden bursts of anger, and can storm out of a room for little reason. It's really a shame, most people are drawn to him.

-Ensign Robert "Marshmallow" Halloway: His nickname came from a girlfriend of his on Unzervault. She claimed he was sweet, and sticky (since she couldn't get away from him). Granted, the girl later broke up with him in a rather unpleasant way, but the name has stuck. Nowadays, he pilots the mining shuttle, with Crewman Jenkins as his backup. At only seventeen when the ship first arrives at Earth, he finds himself striving to look good in the eyes of his superiors. He's not sucking up, by any means, but he spends hours pressing his uniform, keeping his mining suit clean, maintaining tidy quarters. You never know when someone important might come by for a visit, right? Because of his professional duty, Robinson chose him to be his second in command. Marshmallow aims to please.

-Lieutenant Marco DeYoung: Hayes right hand, this guy basically spends his day sucking up to Hayes, bringing reports to Hayes, keeping Hayes' office clean. He doesn't like it, but he's not a very charismatic, or attractive, fellow. So he just keeps bootlicking, hoping for his big break.

-Ensign Carl "Traveller" Frakes: Why is his name Traveller? Because he's always off where he's not supposed to be. Eventually, Hayes stuck him in the waste disposal room, but  when the Vindicator arrives, he decides he'll give him his big chance to see the galaxy. Eventually becoming a valued member of the crew, although often a trouble maker, he is often the first to arrive when the ship gets damaged. With one eye on the horizon (and the other on Erika Graves), many of the crew members find him inspirational. Despite his frequent sarcasm and troublemaking, his real wish is to see the blue sky again. Something he hasn't seen since he was three years old.

-Ensign Jeremy Rigby: An expert when it comes to technology, he finds himself drafted to the mining team to operate the drill. As a child on Unzervault, his mother used to pamper him non stop. His mother also just so happenned to be pregnant when they landed, and should never have been on the Tobermoon in the first place. The first baby born on Unzervault, only four months after their arrival, he was often praised as 'the colonial baby'. He spent his childhood reading up on alien technology, building model ships, and gazing at wonder as the Vindicator was being built. The effect?

He's kind of a wimp. But a handy wimp. Just don't ask him to do anything dangerous.

Unfortunately, his mother died on Unzervault, and it often haunts him that he never knew who his father was.

***

These are ALSO just some sketchy outlines so far. Pop in your own character ideas too. Smiley


As to Koowluh's post: Deaths happen in EVERY battle, right? Ehhh, not so much. I'd be stuck on grieving for the whole bloody novel if I did that. Tongue Not every mining death is going to be listed, and not every ship battle death is going to be included either. Tongue

Even in a war, people get breaks. My friend in Afghanistan got a month off to go to India with his wife. Tongue

Remember that we're looking at these people as if they were REAL people. If Zelnick sent a miner down and said "Don't come back until you're all dead.", that would be Sparks big excuse to take over. Tongue Besides, on the more hostile planets, everything is happenning so fast that Zelnick doesn't have much control over it anyways.

Remember that the story is not just about Zelnick, it's about the crew. If the crew all die... well, that's kind of uninteresting. Tongue

I AM considering having somebody taken prisoner by the Druuge, though I figured I'd let them come back. Tongue

Also, in a rash display of total ungamedness, what about some sort of in-person fight with a Thraddash boarding party? :O

You've got the right idea, dramawise, but you need to remember that ZELNICK isn't playing a game. He's fighting for his survival. Wink
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2006, 09:05:12 pm »

They don't go into any details of who or what were situated on the slave-shield planets, or how it's affected life down there. I would suspect that the Yehat would have bases situated because to be frank, they have the most in common, and the friendliest relationship with hunams, second only by the Supox.

That's another thing, can we expect a 9 foot Supox to be part of the crew? Cheesy
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #20 on: December 24, 2006, 09:12:19 pm »

Tell you what, write up a plan for this 9 foot Supox that makes sense, take into consideration that it won't be appearing until Zelnick and company come across them, and I'll pop it in. Tongue

Regardless, it'll be months before I get to the Supox anyways. Tongue

I've just finished up with the disastrous mining predicament on Mercury. Probably the first exciting scene you'll come across.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #21 on: December 24, 2006, 09:13:03 pm »


As to Koowluh's post: Deaths happen in EVERY battle, right? Ehhh, not so much. I'd be stuck on grieving for the whole bloody novel if I did that. Tongue Not every mining death is going to be listed, and not every ship battle death is going to be included either. Tongue


Well, it could be mentioned by some crew members something along the lines of  "Guess who came back from Pluto in a bodybag..." or "Last hit on the cruiser took out 3 crew quarters." It might be that one of your mains keeps a written record with photograph in a book somewhere (most commonly known as the keeper of the dead) . As a macabre sidenote, you could have someone take a picture of the crew sent down the planet in a miner "just in case they don't come back".

Oh well, plenty of ideas to go around, just here to inspire you...  Roll Eyes

EDIT: oh , and remember that the game is full of humour. You wouldn't want to write a dramatization of it Wink
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #22 on: December 24, 2006, 09:38:31 pm »

Supox bio coming up!



Name : Sato

Age : Undetermined

Gender : N/A - Closer Masculine properties

Job : Negotiator/Ambassador

Intro : When the Negotiator for the Vindicator disapears without a trace (or not), Star Control places Sato, a leading pioneer in many debates on the homeworld of the Supox, on the ship. As soon as he arrives he begins greeting everyone (literally, everyone) on-board and begins to ask far too many questions. It becomes aparant that he will end up annoying people more than actually gaining trust in them. After he's done with the Janitors, the Engineers, and the likes, he finally greets the Captain with an ever sunshine-like state of mind.

Personality : Freakishly friendly and understanding, but does not know when to stop being that, can also come across as if he is receiting a phrase book.

Possible Events :

First contact with the Thraddash : A Thraddash Torch transports near the Vindicator, demanding just what the hell an "impressively large and powerful battle ship" was doing outside of Thraddash control. Sato begins negotiations, which quickly turns into a certain psychiatric session with the Thraddash commander contemplating his situation, his life, and his actions. Despite what is deemed as "remarkable progress" the Torch begins attacking anyway, and is promptly destroyed.

Pkunk Conversation : Sato is talking to a Pkunk officer, discussing life and all it's wonders, but seems to be playing the "nodding game" in order to make the Pkunk feel better. Unbeknowst to him, the Pkunk knows he's doing this, and thus is continuing to talk to make Sato feel beter, so the vicious cycle continues.




 
« Last Edit: December 24, 2006, 09:50:14 pm by Neonlare » Logged

"would newton's law theory actually work if a Chmmr Avatar did a backwards pelvic thrust towards a planet and would this constitute an X=Y-0 in the part it ran straight into a Supox Blade and lasted long enough to survive?" - Elerium (as Valaggar)
Grakelin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #23 on: December 25, 2006, 04:48:38 am »

I like it! Cheesy

Though, you'll probably find that there really isn't a set negotiator in charge (I always figured the Cap did all the talking, he IS the leader, after all), a ship psychiatrist is always handy. Smiley

Sato will get its place in the story for sure (though probably not for quite some time).


Koowluh: Although there are quite a few comedic elements, Star Control isn't a slapstick comedy fanfare, either. If I were to write about Zelnick gleefully sending crew members to their deaths, the crewmen giggling all gossip-like over that new fella who died, the captain farting on the bridge and saying "excuse me, hehehe"; I'd probably get tied to a stake and shot. Tongue

Consider that these people are risking their lives every day. Any moment, their number could go up. I dunno if you've ever had an acquantaince, someone you'd talked to once or twice but weren't really friends, die; but when you hear about it, you don't joke about it unless you're seriously mentally unstable. Even someone you don't like can slap you in the face with their death. That factor is worth triple if it could've just as easily been you.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2006, 04:57:55 am by Grakelin » Logged
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #24 on: December 25, 2006, 12:03:11 pm »

I usually wouldn't post just to correct someone's spelling, but as this misspelling might otherwise turn up in your story, I note that it's "Unzervalt", not "Unzervault".
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #25 on: December 25, 2006, 12:57:15 pm »

I like it! Cheesy

Though, you'll probably find that there really isn't a set negotiator in charge (I always figured the Cap did all the talking, he IS the leader, after all), a ship psychiatrist is always handy. Smiley

Sato will get its place in the story for sure (though probably not for quite some time).


Koowluh: Although there are quite a few comedic elements, Star Control isn't a slapstick comedy fanfare, either. If I were to write about Zelnick gleefully sending crew members to their deaths, the crewmen giggling all gossip-like over that new fella who died, the captain farting on the bridge and saying "excuse me, hehehe"; I'd probably get tied to a stake and shot. Tongue

Consider that these people are risking their lives every day. Any moment, their number could go up. I dunno if you've ever had an acquantaince, someone you'd talked to once or twice but weren't really friends, die; but when you hear about it, you don't joke about it unless you're seriously mentally unstable. Even someone you don't like can slap you in the face with their death. That factor is worth triple if it could've just as easily been you.

I typed a whole story here, but it boiled down to one sentence: strike a balance  Grin
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #26 on: December 26, 2006, 04:12:37 am »

A good way to show the reader more of Arilou culture would be to let the Vindicator crew get some shore leave on Falayaralfali.

Something tells me that that would be a bad idea.

Quote from: Arilou
Welcome back to Falayalaralfali, Captain.
Perhaps, in the fullness of time we will let you visit the surface of our world.
There are many beauties here unmatched anywhere... the Mountain Clouds of Thought
the Tangible Wish... the Dark. Unfortunately, you are not yet... acclimated.
Premature exposure to these would render you...numb.

Quote from: Arilou on Falayalaralfali
Hello. We are pleased to see you again. Have you any numbness yet?
Good. It should be too soon for that. Too soon by far.

I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound pleasant. I don't think human beings have quite what it takes to endure Falayalaralfali at this stage in our evolution.

As far as the Star Control fanfic/novelization goes, Grakelin, I heartily endorse it! It sounds like you already have some very good ideas, and going to this group of SC2 fans to ask questions is a smart thing as well. I'm sure they'll tell you if something isn't adding up. Wink

Just a few pieces of advice from little ol' me:

I've found that by reading through the SC2 manual, role-playing resource guide, and actual quotes from the game, you can come up with a vast wealth of information on the aliens that you might not have noticed or even thought of before. I mean, before reading the manual thoroughly, I would've never pictured the average height of a Yehat as being just shy of ten feet!

The pages that contain the game dialogue are here if you need them, by the way. Just remember to take "starcontrol" out of the URLs for the separate pages, otherwise they won't work.("http://starcontrol.classicgaming.gamespy.com/starcontrol/sc2/quotes/chmmr.txt" becomes "http://starcontrol.classicgaming.gamespy.com/sc2/quotes/chmmr.txt", for example)

Sometimes it's just the little things that can make dialogue seem odd or unbelievable. Going through the quotes is a good way to get a feel of the attitude and "voice" of the different races.

For example, the Utwig tend to name and describe things in very grandiose ways. The Spathi High Council speak much more boldly and can be more sarcastic than regular Spathi. The Umgah have quite a large vocabulary despite some lingual quirks like leaving the words "is" or "are" out of their sentences (ie. They can use such words/terms as "gratitude", "compulsion", "vigorous", "sufficient", "juveniles", and "legitimate" correctly and effortlessly). The VUX seem to be very quick, creative thinkers, and are eloquent as well. This can be seen in the way that they can rattle off a variety of long and descriptive insults and exclamations without pause or difficulty.

And so on and so forth...

I hope that's of some help.
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #27 on: December 26, 2006, 04:47:34 am »

Yep, I'll second the thought that you need to find the manual, and role playing guide, Grakelin.  There's a lot more story line, even before the game starts that you should probably be willing to flesh out, like how Zelnick got to be captain (maybe resentments from others in the crew to happen later on?), the building of the flagship on Unzervalt, the trip there, how the original captain died, and so forth.

Other than what's in the game there's a LOT of backstory in that which wouldn't hurt to be fleshed out.  Remember, try to be as 100% consistent with the game dialogue as you cna.

And another thought, how about a story arc about what it's like to be assigned to a Shofixti ship?  Hayes talks about that one, actually.  "Boy, our captain sure has a death wish!"
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #28 on: December 26, 2006, 01:32:51 pm »

A better way to read SC2 quotes would be sa-matra.net's Quote Databank:
http://www.sa-matra.net/quotes/

Has some highlighting of questions and such. And it looks awesome. Tongue
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Re: Star Control Story
« Reply #29 on: December 26, 2006, 01:46:20 pm »

But are these collections complete? Do these lines come from the PC version of SC2, or from UQM?
One could always just look at the dialog files from UQM.
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