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News: Celebrating 30 years of Star Control 2 - The Ur-Quan Masters

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Author Topic: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)  (Read 3664 times)
John Le Sway
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Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« on: August 17, 2013, 12:06:31 am »

After defeating the dreaded Ur-Quan, Tanaka and Earth's new Space Force Commander, Zelnick, live their lives happily running the ESF (Earth Space Force), as well as the New Alliance of

 Free Stars. The Kzer-Za fled to avoid being killed by the NAFS and Kohr-Ah, which still remains in the quadrant to live their doctrine, The Eternal Doctrine, with the old stranded team on

 Vela colonizing the world, the Earthlings had some good connections with the ZFP, Vux, who surrendered and offered an alliance that was accepted by the Public, and the Shofixti, who are

 no longer suicidal. The NAFS' first mission was to colonize another quadrant and meet new races! They went North and found the A'lahuunei quadrant, populated by a large team of Kzer

-Za, who were to enslave the races in the quadrant, it was quickly destroyed by the NAFS, and then they quickly realized there were only 3 species in the quadrant, they were the Plate'es,

 they looked like white Vux, only less aggressive, and 2 INCREDIBLE surprises were found when the NAFS met the other 2 races, they were the Yuli, and Androsynth, the Yuli sent a

 large team to another planet to colonize it and recreate the Yuli without the Dnyarri knowing. The Androsynth, however, sent a team to do what the NAFS is doing, colonize another

 quadrant. Back in 2079, when the Humans first confirmed extraterrestrial life existing, Skype was picked up by the government and became a tool for starship captains to communicate

 with each other, creating great alliances for both Earthlings, and her allies. The Androsynth miraculously had this given by the Yehat before the Ur-Quan invaded. The Androsynth quickly

became allies, while the Yuli and Plate'es were more difficult to ally, but then, Commander Zelnick recieved a skype call from the Orz, with the new translation system designs, they

could talk clearly enough for Earthlings to understand perfectly, they said, "Do not ally with the Androsynth, they are not good! They will make you go into dangerous dimensions.""

The captain allied the Androsynth anyway, but the Orz team fled back to the Vulpeculae system, and were spied on by the Chmrr. The Orz noticed, and attacked and started a war.

The Chmrr quickly wiped a large portion of the Orz out, and forced them to flee back to their home dimension. Meanwhile, the exploration team in the other quadrant successfully made

allies. And then Zelnick realized the Yuli ships were marvelous, great weapons, a large fuel supply, it was also smooth when driving, Zelnick said, "When and if the Orz return, we have a

nasty little surprise for them."


Continued in part 2.
(Please give me your opinions on this. it would make me really happy if I got good replies. Smiley )
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2013, 12:27:43 am »

If you're enthusiastic about writing you should join the p6014 writing team, but you have to be committed, we can't have random suggestions  in-cohesive with any part of SC2 or people leaving almost as quickly as they joined. Although after reading your other topic I am perhaps misinterpreting why you are "enthusiastic" about this new and improved HD mod.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2013, 12:29:45 am by FakeMccoy » Logged
John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2013, 02:48:54 am »

"we can't have random suggestions  in-cohesive with any part of SC2"
Can you elaborate?
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2013, 03:13:26 am »

"we can't have random suggestions  in-cohesive with any part of SC2"
Can you elaborate?

We have brush up on the Sa-Matra quotes as well as look at the wiki to see what people are suggesting as well play through the current mod. We can't have suggestions like "You know it would be cool if the Yehat suddenly turned purple for no reason", we need stuff that is based off what happens in p6014 and SC2 that matches up with what the Sa-Matra says, helps the story line progress, explains mysteries left from SC2, ect.
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John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2013, 04:28:17 am »

Ah, well, I might take you up on that offer, but I'll do atleast 2 more parts and ask you to rate it out of 10, and if you say 10, I'll contact Damon. Smiley
« Last Edit: August 17, 2013, 04:31:34 am by John Le Sway » Logged

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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2013, 04:39:30 am »

Ah, well, I might take you up on that offer, but I'll do atleast 2 more parts and ask you to rate it out of 10.
Well if or when you're serious about writing send me a PM.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2013, 04:45:42 am by FakeMccoy » Logged
John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2013, 04:34:39 pm »

Alright cool,


Part 2:
After the NAFS obtained 3 new allies, the Androsynth sent a majority of their fleet back to the Vulpeculae system after the Orz fled, The Plate'es also went to check our home quadrant

out. They noticed they looked like the Vux, and had a long long 4 hour conversation through Skype, the Plate'es about their biology, planet stats (tectonics, temp, weather, etc), and their hate

for anything else in the universe, the Plate'es quickly realized there is some ancestry in there, and the membership in the NAFS of the Plate'es quickly dropped, and they soon re-lifted

the Vux into their ships, (like Vux ships but the limpets damage as well as slow.), then planned an attack against the NAFS, Zelnick noticed their refusal to lend us some ships, and

got suspicious. 2 weeks later, after the NAFS had colonized a large portion of the quadrant, the Plate'es started eating the NAFS from inside and out, Zelnick noticed, (Keep in mind, he

is at mission control at Vela, he quickly asked the Chmrr to send a good old fleet to help destroy the Plate'es down to the point where they beg us for forgiveness and membership

in the NAFS, but they will simply have "the question," asked to them, that awful question is, "Red or blue?" (LOL P6014 RIPOFF, no, i see that scenario on all sci-fi games i play.)

After a week-long battle, we had casted a red slave shield over the Plate'es homeworld, (Alpha Canis Euoria 1-A), and seperated the remaining green Vux in their ships from the white

Vux. It was another war the NAFS could easily handle, after the huge NAFS fleet had colonized the entire quadrant, they returned home, shook mission control's hands in a feel

of celebration. The NAFS was theoretically undefeatable at that point, if the Kzer-Za returned, we to have a little surprise, their old battle thrall that suddenly vanished will attack them,

Zelnick was incredibly happy, he was leading one of the Universe's best teams of species, right by old Hayes' side, Zelnick could sleep so peacefully at this point, he would shake

everyone he see's hand just because of how happy he is.

Continued in part 3...

(Sorry about how short it was, there was not much to write about.)
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John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2013, 04:36:58 pm »

Oh, also, isn't that already in the mod? Let me specify.

"Wouldn't it be AMAZING is the Chmrr just broke for no reason?"
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2013, 05:51:52 pm »

I said to send me a PM if your serious about writing so I can introduce you to the discussion at hand about the various plot developments as well as see other people's suggestions which we have to implement in some fashion. The Chmmr don't break for no reason, if you joined the discussion you'd see why they break.
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John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2013, 05:57:22 pm »

I did pm you, mate
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Death 999
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2013, 06:12:34 pm »

1st: fix your formatting. There are a lot of line breaks in there that don't belong.

2nd: What you just posted is the view from 40 km up. This does not make a story. Tell a story and introduce background as needed. If you really feel it necessary, include a paragraph or two of background before starting.
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John Le Sway
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2013, 10:25:49 am »

@Death 999
Pardon me, *cough*
*deep inhale*
LAST TIME I CHECK, GOOD SIR, THIS IS A FANFIC I AM WRITING, AND I DO NOT NEED SOME STRANGER GIVING ME TIPS THAT ARE TOTALLY UNNECESSARY.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest.
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Death 999
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2013, 04:27:39 pm »

Quote from: John Le Sway
Please give me your opinions on this.

That was my opinion. If you do not want opinions, then ask people not to opine.

If you want only positive responses, the qualifying statement following the quote should be much stronger.
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danzibr
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2013, 02:15:43 am »

To be fair, the formatting makes it very hard to read.
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Steve-O
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Re: Zelnick and Talana's new life. (SC2 Fanfiction)
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2013, 03:50:40 am »

To be fair, the formatting makes it very hard to read.

To be fair, I'm pretty sure this guy is just a troll.
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